What we love we turn to dust
by Elle Light
Summary: You have no idea how much you've changed. Where is the boy that used to care for everyone?" "Where is the girl that used to care for everyone?" For a moment there was silence. "You killed her." "You broke his heart." Merlin answered to her remark. Now, they were face to face. She could feel his eyes piercing her.
1. Chapter 1

So be it

It was victory. But she couldn't imagine where Mordred were. It was he who was supposed to see Arthur suffer. Arthur had to die at his hand, so the witch let him live, to live chained in the darkness of the dungeon.

The new queen sat down on her throne, waiting for the prisoners to be brought. Their courage and determination had already started to drive her crazy. Yet, neither the former king, nor the knight were willing to let her win. Even in chains they dared to defy her, even on their knees they stood proud. But the High Priestess laughed. Nothing could save them any more.

"Your Highness" A young soldier tried to get her attention, his voice was fainted as fear invaded him. "Someone has asked for an audience with the queen." And the soldier bowed, hoping the High Priestess was happy enough with her victory that he would excused his clumsiness.

"Bring him here" Her voice was cold. As she met her brother's glance, Morgana put on a content smirk. "What has happened, dear brother? Not so mighty now?"

The war had weakened him. Still he hadn't suffered as much as she wanted. Soon he would be dead. The very thought made her feel powerful, much more powerful than she had ever been. Finally, she'd won.

"And he asked me to deliver this to you." The soldier dared to speak again and he gave her a little, white, wild flower.

The witch took the little flower and watched it surprised. It'd been a very long time since she'd received flowers, there was only one person who used to bring her that type of flowers. Merlin.

Morgana let the flower fall down on the ground, but still she couldn't take her eyes away from it. It both scared and thrilled her.

The door broke down with a strong bang, catching her attention. He stood for a moment, defiant and mighty, dark and misty like a ghost. He was alone. It was the first thing she notice. Then he stepped in, walking like he'd owned the world. His face was hidden under the dark hood of his cloak.

The stranger displayed no fear in front of her. In fact, he took the goblet from her hand and sipped from her wine. The witch watched him with mixture of surprise, intimidation and hatred. Even the knights were shocked. It was clear the cloaked stranger was no friend of Morgana and his self confidence was annoying her to the point she was about to burst out. Eventually, the dark queen regained her firm posture.

"What are you doing here?" Morgana demanded to know. The stranger was hardly impressed by her tone. He picked up the flower from the ground while he kept ignoring the queen. "I think I've asked you something. What are…."

"I see you seem to consider such flowers unworthy of you attention, My Lady." The stranger's voice was filled with sarcasm. His eyes shone gold and the flower turned into a scarlet rose. "May I dare to think it suits your taste, My Lady or do you prefer gold and gems?"

"Who are you?" Morgana raised her tone, sicked of his sarcasm.

"Gold should be then." And the petals of the rose were soon covered in gold. The stranger offered the rose to Morgana again. "Is it suit for a queen, My Lady?"

The queen watched him for a moment, unable to decide if she should accept the gift.

"What do you want in return?" She spoke, convinced that such a gift wouldn't come without a price.

"For the scarlet rose I might have asked for a kiss; the wild flower would have cost you a genuine laugh, but this, this is for free."

"But this is gold?!"

"And it's cold and lifeless. When I was a kid I used to watch flowers blooming in the spring. It pained me to see then dying just a couple of days after, but I guess it made me love them even more. Have you never done it, My Lady?"

"Would you stop calling me like that?"

"Like what, My Lady?"

"Calling me "my lady" in this way of you." The stranger smirked or at least Morgana thought she'd seen a smirk on his face.

"Has no one given such flower to you? Little, fragile flowers, but fresh and so full of live. Flowers which scented the entire room with their perfume."

"What do you want?" Somehow his words had reached an area she prefered to stay untouched. "Those flowers are long dead and so is the friendship that used to bind us."

"May I ask what happened?" The stranger's question made her acknowledged she'd already said too much.

"No, you may not." The witch cut him harshly.

"And yet I insist."

"He lied to me, betrayed me." She threw at him "but this is not your business."

"And you never asked why he did it? Have you been honest with him? Have you been loyal to him?"

"I told him more than he needed to know."

"Do you really? It means you thought him unworthy of attention if you considered a single petty secret being too much for a friend. Have you ever asked yourself how he must have felt when you chose a complete stranger upon him?"

"Morgause?! But she was my sister."

"You didn't know it at time."

"She had magic."

"So having magic meant more for you than a friend who decided to guard your secret even if he didn't have magic? Even if he couldn't understand."

"She was like me. I couldn't have known he is…" and she stopped before say "sorcerer". The witch didn't know why, but she simply couldn't say aloud. It seemed strange. The High Priestess couldn't imagine Merlin having magic.

All those times she'd thought he'd been vulnerable; all those times she'd considered she had the upper hand. If Mordred was right, if he was Emrys and he was, Merlin could have killed her for the start. But why didn't he do it? Yet Morgana refused to think about it. It would made her feel weak and she wasn't weak. Not anymore.

In fact, he was the weak one because he allowed his feeling stay in his way, wasn't he? Sensing the stranger's glance directed to her, Morgana felt uncovered.

She scolded herself for even allowing those thoughts to run in her mind. And feelings. Which feelings? He'd poisoned her. Why the very thought he could have killed her any time and yet he let her live made her feel weaker than him? Why had that bloody stranger to arise so many questions in her mind. The witch had never wanted to know. It was enough he'd betrayed her. She didn't need to know more.

"So you considered that him not having magic made him unworthy of being your friend, didn't it?"

"What do you know about it?" The witch replied furious.

"Sorry, it took me so long." he interrupted her, "a mad witch decided to collapse the roof of a cave on my head." Morgana let a shadow of fear to darken her face, but she was quickly back in check with her feelings. "And your soldiers weren't really friendly."

"Emrys." She muttered, then as she pressed her nails in the arms of the throne to control her emotions, Morgana went on more confident this time. "Where are they?"

"Dead." Merlin added simply.

"Mordred." She already knew the answer.

"Mordred, too." His calm killed her. That hurt. It wasn't supposed to happen.

"He was only a child." The witch allowed him to see her pain. This wasn't the Merlin she'd used to know, the compassionate friend ready to sacrifice himself for others and even as enemies he'd showed her mercy. It was wrong, terribly wrong. When had he changed so much? Had he always been like that and she'd been too blind to see it? The witch couldn't think about it. The very thought would bring back the memory of him poisoning her. She'd been an idiot to allow his questions turn her world upside down. She was an idiot to think it might have been her fault too. Morgana instinctively raised her hands to her neck as she couldn't breath properly.

"How many kids have you killed?" Morgana didn't answer. What could she say?

"What do you want?"

"To kill you. I guess." That was too much. The witch casted a spell and threw it on him, but the warlock blocked it with a petty blink of an eye.

"Impressive. Not impressive enough, though. Thanks for making me enter that cave. I've finally found who I really am. I walk in the light. "

Morgana tried to run away, but he blocked her way.

"Sit down, please! We need to have a talk. Like two grown-ups."

"You have no idea how much you've changed. Where is the boy that used to care for everybody?"

"Where is the girl that used to care for everybody?"

For a moment it was silence.

"You killed her."

"You broke his heart." Merlin answered to her remark. Now, they were face to face. She could feel his eyes piercing her, even behind his hood.

"I blame myself for what you've become. There were times I wonder if you had been here as a friend, should I have chosen differently."

"But you hadn't." The witch threw at him. He had no idea how many nights she'd spent thinking about the way her life would have been, if he'd been at her side. Why had he to choose Arthur?

"It wasn't easy."

"Yet it wasn't impossible." The High Priestess argued.

Arthur should have tried to find a way out of there, but somehow the conversation captivated him. He threw a glance to Gwen and he noticed she was listening too. Who was he? At first he'd thought it was Merlin, but then the former king realized it couldn't be. So someone Morgana had trusted had betrayed her. He couldn't know what happened, but definitely it had affected her more than she allowed them to see.

As Arthur listened more he understood that the stranger, the one she'd called Emrys, was the same man who'd hurt her. But she'd hurt him, too and… Why had they to be so idiots and failed to notice the obvious? It was too complicated, though.

Whatever had happened, Arthur found out he knew nothing about Morgana.

"I'm not an expert, but wouldn't be easy to forgive each other and admit you're in love? I mean you hurt each other enough?" The two magic beings watched Arthur surprised.

"Good idea, princess." Gwaine mocked him. "Like Morgana isn't powerful enough alone. She needs another powerful sorcerer as mad as her. Honestly, I don't want to see the day they unite their forces."


	2. Broken strings

Broken strings

"We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living."

(Osman N. Bradley)

* * *

"What you know about me?" His voice was calm, but his firm posture was so impressive that the witch couldn't help feeling intimidated. And his eyes, his eyes were burning like two flames.

The warlock threw a glance towards the soldiers who were supposed to protect the queen. They'd given up torturing the prisoners and without Morgana's ordering them what to do, they stood there, hardly daring to breath.

"I haven't notice you." He said and before he finished to clench his fist, they were down on the floor, deeply asleep. "I think they need a nap. So, what's your answer?"

Arthur and the knights watched him with fear, aware they stood no chance in front of him.

"Do you think I'm an ordinary sorcerer? A petty peasant? That's what everyone thinks after all." Their faces was proof enough. "You think I'm mad...that I'm monster". Gwaine prefered to stay quiet.

"There was a time I thought you were a good friend." Morgana said with regret.

"I could have been, but we wanted different things even from the start You yearned for attention, I asked for peace. You wanted power, I dreamt of a world we could be equal, no matter what we are or where we come from."

"I want magic back." She cried.

"So do I. But you can't force people to accept it more than your father could force them to reject it. It's wrong."

"And what he did, wasn't it wrong?"

"As wrong as it was what you have been trying to achieve."

"You don't know what I've been through."

"Neither you know what I've been through." His voice made her blood went cold, but her face was still a mask. She let no feeling escape it despite his eyes burning and freezing her at the same time.

"Illuminate me, then." Morgana mocked him. Merlin stepped closer to her and leaned his arms on the throne, so his face was close to hers. The witch sank in the chair so she could put some distance between them.

"Fair enough. You'll judge it yourself after I have finished what I have to say. Then you can say what I am." And as he said those words, the warlock threw a glance towards his friends as if he had been waiting for an answer. "My father was able to tame the most dangerous and beautiful creatures on this world: dragons. They were friends, in fact. He was a lord and not an ordinary one, but a dragon lord. I only got some moments with him.

I was twenty when I finally met him. He had been gone before I realized he was back. Whole my life I wished to meet him. When I was a child I used to imagine he would come one day and we would be a family, that he would protect me and mum. He never came.

He lost everything when Uther started to blame magic for his own mistake. Friends, power, the girl he loved."

"Are you going to say the same story Morgause told me years ago?" Arthur asked furious. He had no idea who that sorcerer was, but he frightened him. Yet, he wasn't willing to let him see it."I've already heard it." Merlin turned his attention to Arthur and allowed Morgana to put some distance between them.

"Maybe. But it's true. Your father had been warned that the Old Religion would asked a life in return. Do you think it would have been fair that a poor peasant were to die only that a king could have a heir?"

"No, my father hadn't known someone had to die." Arthur tried to deny.

"Didn't he? You knew him, Arthur. Deep down you know I'm right. So, answer my question, Sire." Merlin really cared for his friend, but that had got on his nerves. Arthur was supposed to understand, wasn't he?

"So now you've turned against Arthur, too?" The High Priestess said on a tone laced with disgust. "What have you become?" In fact, she was surprised Merlin was so rude with his friend even if he was right and, well, it wasn't like Arthur wouldn't deserve it.

"Just because I've hold my tongue and I've always been the good boy, always calm, always smiling, always hiding my true feeling, it doesn't mean I have no feelings. I have expected more from him. Arthur was supposed to understand and it hurts, it hurts when I'm forced to acknowledge I was wrong. So, am I wrong if I got furious when I see the king who is supposed to be the best king Albion has ever have, is just a spoilt child?"

"No. I guess." Arthur decided to answer his question. "I mean, I don't think it would have been fair for someone else to pay the price, so I could exist. I haven't known. I've always thought magic is evil and…"

"I wouldn't expect more from you." The witch cut him out. "You've always been a spoilt child."

"That's why the Old Religion chose your mother. Not because magic is evil, but because it was the right price." Merlin ignored Morgana and offered his friend the answer he needed to hear.

"So, father knew."

"He never expected it would ask for her life, indeed. When he acknowledged his mistake it was too late."

While Merlin was speaking with Arthur, Morgana tried to sneak out of the throne room. At first, she'd been furious they ignored her, but then Morgana realized it could turn it into an unique opportunity for her. It worked for a while as the Dragon Lord was focused on his conversation with the king, but eventually the warlock noticed her attempt and he blocked her way with Arthur's sword and pushed her against the wall.

"I'm a High Priestess. No mortal sword can hurt me." Morgana hissed, yet her voice lacked her usual confidence. But she watched him in the eye and all he could read was disgust.

"It's Arthur's sword. Do you really think it's so ordinary?" Everybody watched him surprised, Morgana tensed. Why hadn't she thought before? Now it was his turn to smirk.

"An ordinary spell.."

"What about a dragon?" The High Priestess felt shivers over her spine. "Do you remember the wraith Uther managed to destroy?"

"Did you create it for the king, Emrys?"

"No, I did it for Arthur. I didn't know Uther would fight. It was a mistake. That's why I hid it."

"Would you have let my father die? He was fighting for his kingdom, for his people. You really are a monster, aren't you?"

"He would have let Camelot fall, hadn't been for your challenging the wraith, even if he knew his death would send it back to the grave."

"What do you know?" Arthur couldn't hold back his fury.

"You've always had a way of allowing emotions to control you, dear brother. If it hadn't been for Merlin, you wouldn't have survived a day." The former king threw a glance towards Morgana, but as she smirked at him, turned his head disgusted and decided to focused his attention to the warlock, waiting for him to continue.

"Do not think that complimenting me you make me be merciful, Morgana" Merlin whispered in her ear. Then he continued aloud. "The wraith came to revenge his sister's death. When the queen died, her elder brother accused Uther of killing her and challenged him. The king killed him, but Tristan de Bois swore to return. And he did. Uther knew what the knight wanted."

"You're lying." Merlin decided to ignore him even if the king's words hurt him.

"This is how it started. The purge. My father managed to save a dragon, the Great Dragon Kilgharrah. But Uther lied him. Uther swore he wanted to set peace with the dragon, father trusted him and brought the dragon back to Camelot. Father believed him, believed his lies and Kilgharrah ended in that cave for over 20 years.

My father was sentenced to death for daring to speak against the king. He escaped, though, ran to a village out of Camelot's borders, met a young peasant girl, fell in love, but Uther sent knights to kill him and he had to leave mum so she would be safe. He was gone before she could tell him she was pregnant.

She never spoke about him. She let people say whatever they wanted. I inherited his magic. I could move objects before I was able to speak. Mother knew nothing about magic, but she loved me more than she feared for her life.

It was hard and lonely, but mum taught me to care, to struggle to be a better person. I was never able to understand why other children hated me or why I wasn't allowed to show them who I was. I loved to do magic, but it frightened them and it started to frighten me. All I wished for was to be accepted and I wasn't. There were too many rumors and it was a small village. People started to suspect.

But I wanted to live and so I adapted. I became a good actor so none could read behind my lies. Life taught me to pretend, to lie and to trust no one. These were my only weapons. Yet my powers grew stronger everyday and my village was too small for me.

When she couldn't cope any more, mother sent me to Camelot. I was supposed to learn to control myself. There was someone who could help me. And he did. He knew who I was and he kept it secret. He was like a father for me. But he couldn't understand how I felt.

There I made friends, started a new life. People loved me and I was happy. But they didn't know me and it frightened me. It frightened me what they would have though, had they noticed what I am."

"Why haven't you stop using magic?" Arthur asked.

"Because I couldn't stand by and watch people die while I knew I could save them and because I can't. I can't stop. Magic it's me. It's in my bones. I'm a nobody without it.

So, I've dedicated my life saving Camelot, hoping one day I would stop feeling lonely. There's when I met Kilgharrah and he made me feel understood."

"Kilgharrah? The Great Dragon, isn't it? Do you have idea how many people died because of him?" Arthur burst out.

"I know. I never meant it to happen. It was the price I had to pay for his help. I had the slightest idea what to do with my powers. I didn't know a single spell. He help me protect Camelot.

He gave me a purpose. He gave me hope. He spoke about a great king who would unite Albion and would set peace between the people. Under his reign magics and non-magics would be brothers again."

"And you think he's Arthur, don't you?" Gwaine asked.

"The dragon said it's my destiny to change him, to turn him in that great king."

"How could you achieve it when I never met you?" the king asked.

"But we met. You may not know me, but I do know you. You are a great king, loved and respected by your people. No knight would go as far as yours had for you. But you have to learn to listen. To listen the cries of those who were forgotten and misunderstood, of those who can't find a place in the world you've created. Aren't they your people, too? Is it a sin to be different? Do you think I deserve to die or that I deserve to be pushed away just because of what I am?"

"You're dangerous. People are afraid of magic and honestly, I am, too. I can't understand it and how could I possibly fight against something I can't understand? Whole my life I've seen only the pain magic causes and… But I would have tried my best to help Morgana if only she'd asked me. If only she'd explained it to me."

"Have you ever thought that we are afraid, too? We have families and friends, too, and none of us wants to lose them… And we want as much as you to grow up, fall in love, have a family. We don't want to die. What hurts you, hurts us, too. We are human as well as you and we want the same things you do." Arthur was forced to admit the stranger was right; he'd never thought about it.

"When I first met you I wanted to kick your ass and believe me, it wouldn't have been too hard." the warlock went on. "When I find about your destiny I was something like 'there must be another Arthur because this is an idiot.' But as I got to know you better, I've learnt you can be that king, but you need to be pushed a little from time to time, yet no one could do it better than Morgana." The way Merlin narrated the last part made the story so funny that the fotmer king couldn't help a smile, but as he acknowledged the fact it wasn't actually a joke, Arthur checked his feelings and put on a sober air.

"Have you spent whole this time trying to know me?" Arthur couldn't help wondering.

"I've spent whole this time trying to be your friend. Whole I've done for you was simply the thing a friend would do for another friend and all I wish for was that one day I wouldn't have to feel ashamed to be what I am, that I wouldn't have to watch people die while everything I could do would be to tell myself 'it will end when Arthur is king.' Can you understand it?"

"I don't know what to say." The king answered.

"Say nothing, but stop it. Be the king I've seen inside of you."

Morgana was caught by his words, but at the same time they made her even more furious.

"Why did you refuse to help me? I trusted you."

"And yet you didn't tell me about your plan to steal the crystal from the cave or about your meeting with Morgause. I was afraid, Morgana. Whole my life I was taught to hide."

"I was your friend."

"You were and I didn't want it to change. You were afraid of magic and I freaked out. Then, it was too late. And Kilgharrah warned me against it. He told me what you'd become one day. He was right. I wanted to help you, Morgana, but I feared the consequences."

"Do you like these consequences more?"

"No, I don't." For a moment his voice was fainted. It was clear she had managed to reach him. Even when he spoke about his life, Merlin kept his voice firm, but her question somehow had shaken his cold mask. "I made mistakes, but this is your doing as well as it's mine. You can't blame me for everything."

"Even if I wanted I can't turn back to what I was. If I could bring back the time maybe I would do it better."

"No, you'd do the same things."

"Not, if I knew everything I know now."

"So, you propose me to send you back some years ago." The witch hadn't intended it, but if she thought it through it wasn't such a bad idea.

"Look around, Emrys. We failed. My death wouldn't make your life easier. You'll have to hide your whole life. You'll be alone and afraid while our kin will be hunted like a wild animal. Look at you. So powerful and yet you still hide under your hood. You don't dare to show your face."

"I don't trust you." and he pulled her closer to him, so her face was under his while their glances met. The witch couldn't help staring at him. He was so dangerous, so firm, so cold and yet she felt attracted to him. He was so dangerously seducing.

"Neither do I, but I'm willing to give Arthur a chance, I willing to go your way. Could you do it?" Her voice was weak because of the whirlpool of emotions that threatened to broke her heart, but she acknowledged it only after she'd spoken.

"Yes."

"So?"

"I've given you enough chances, Morgana. It's over this time. This bloodshed has to end." Morgana couldn't believe he'd refused her. She must have misheard Merlin. So shocked was the witch that she wasn't able to say a word and Morgana was hardly the type of person to be at loss with words.

"You spoke about doing the right thing." Arthur decided to break the silence. "I've got you had a difficult life, but still it doesn't justify the way you act. Being powerful doesn't give you the right to decide who lives or dies, does it?" Merlin watched him surprised. Honestly, he hadn't expected something like that from Arthur. "You're not different than her, either. I don't know what happened between you, but I've got you trusted each other and you both betrayed that trust. What gives you the right to sentence her to death when you are as guilty as her?"

"Who are you? You're not him. Mordred must have gotten it wrong. He used to be kind and...he cared for me." Even if she denied it, deep down Morgana saw that everything matched perfectly. The man in front of her knew things that only Merlin could have known.

"Yet he poisoned you." This bumptious style of his talking was starting to get very annoying. Yet, lead by the desire to prove him wrong, the High Priestess found herself justifying his actions.

"Just because he tried to save his friend. He cared for me, but not enough. Arthur has always been the best. And I hated him for that… for chosen Arthur instead of me."

Why had she to admit it? Why had he to keep her so tight and pierce her with his glance? Why had she to say that? Merlin had always made her emotional.

"What? You did what?" Arthur cried out.

"And you chose Morgause instead of me. You'd chosen before I even knew it." Merlin threw at her.

"So that's why you poisoned me?"

"No, I poisoned you to save Camelot and because I had to. You don't have idea how much I had to do for Camelot, but it was alright because one day Arthur would have brought peace back in the land, because one day people like you and me would have been finally free, we would never have to live like outsiders, to be afraid of what we are. But you've turned my world upside down and I was afraid of what I might do. I was afraid I might choose you and left Camelot behind. Deep down I knew you didn't mean it; I knew you were scared, but I couldn't let myself care. You weren't my only friend."

Her eyes went wide as Merlin drag down his hood, revealing his face. "Your Merlin was such pathetic. He used to think he could be happy, but this is not about happiness, this is about decisions and sacrifices, about what is right for those who depend on you even if it breaks your heart." He went on, sardonically.

"Merlin?!" Morgana heard the shocked voices of Arthur and of his knights.

"You see what I mean, don't you?" Morgana mocked them. "Do you like what your beloved father had done to us? We would have never gone this way, if…" Morgana spilt venom towards Arthur, but the warlock stopped her before she could have said more.

"Morgana! It doesn't matter as you ruined me. Kilgharrah was right; you are the darkness to my light, but so do I. We ruined each other. It's what we do. We turn to dust what we love. You know, I've never been like that with anybody. I've never give a second chance. I killed people without remorse, yet I couldn't do it with you." The warlock started to pace visibly nervous. "I've never asked myself if they deserved to die. If Nimueh was once as kind as you used to be. And I always turned back being the happy, clumsy boy. But not anymore. Not after that day. It easy to find excuses, but at the end of the day you have to face the consequences and these...these consequences will stay with you forever."

"What has changed now?"

"Once, I was about to allow you to kill Uther. Do you remember when he sentenced Gwen's father to death?"

"You knew that?!" She asked in undisguised wonder as the witch couldn't help questioning herself how much he'd found out.

"What? Merlin!" Arthur cried. Now he could feel betrayal his friend's voice.

"Gwen changed my mind."

"I didn't…" Gwen babbled as afraid of what she might found out.

"I asked you if you wanted him dead. You didn't know it, though. And yes, Morgana. I knew everything except that you went to Morgause that night."

"Did you ever love me?" The witch asked out of the blue.

"You have magic. I've thought you were like me, that we want the same things. And you were my friend. You used to be up there on a pedestal. I've never dared to think about love. I couldn't have; you were something I could have never dared to wish for. Yet, Arthur used to think that. Once he warned me against being your friend because I wasn't your level. It's funny, doesn't it?"

"What?" Morgana couldn't decide whether she should be furious on her brother for what he'd said or to be furious on Merlin for allowing Arthur to ruin their friendship.

"I didn't mean…" Arthur tried to excuse his actions.

"He used to think he knew me. Little did he knew that I could have taken Camelot over so I could be up your level. I could have been the king."

"Why haven't you done it?"

"Because I wasn't meant to be king. Because my place was in the shadow, taking the hard decisions in order to protect the land. Yet sacrificing you was more than I could bear."

"I wish you had done it. Would have been….romantic. No one has ever done something like that for me." it was sadness in her voice. Then she added on an energetical voice. "Let's go back then. We can change it, shall we?" The witch whispered softly as she watched him directly in the eye.

"We grew up. It's simply too late." And he pulled her even closer to him like he didn't want to let go of her. "So, Arthur what am I? A monster or a hero?" He adressed to his friend this time.

It was little to say that Arthur felt hurt and betrayed about finding his best friend had been lying him whole that time and the king felt like an idiot knowing his friend had expected so much from him and he'd disappointed his trust. And he couldn't express how he felt because neither the king knew to describe those feelings. But if he were to let his fury cloud his judgement, he would lose Merlin the way he'd lost Morgana. And this though hurt Arthur more than the revelation that his friend hadn't trusted him.

And he felt like a monster knowing how much he'd allowed his friend to suffer or how much Merlin had lost for Camelot and for his friends. Now if he thought carefully, the king realized how much Merlin had done for him. Suddenly everything made sense. And Arthur understood that it had changed the clumsy, goofy boy, but he couldn't let him surrender to the darkness.

"I wanted to protect her..." the king felt Morgana and Merlin's glances directed towards him. "I thought she deserved more, but she was even a bigger idiot than me." Morgana watched her brother with bewilderment. The king answered with a smirk. "For losing you."

"Now, you wish your sister had been my friend, don't you?" Merlin thought he knew his mind.

"No, I wish she'd falling in love with you."

"Where would that lead us to?" Merlin continued, distrust in his voice and he let go of his grip on Morgana. She took several steps back to put some distance between them.

"This would have saved you...you both."

"Why don't you try again? I know you don't want this." Gwen cried out and she stepped closer to Merlin. "You're not like that. I understand why…" and she whispered in his ear "you refused to admit it, but it doesn't change the fact you love her."

"Gwen" Merlin stopped her softly while Morgana was looking at them, furious that she'd missed the words.

"There are still things we know about you, Merlin." She replied to him. Gwen was aware she was standing in front of a strong sorcerer, it was terrible scary to see how afraid Morgana was of him, to know how far he was willing to go, yet the queen felt confident. He was still her friend. For a moment, she'd feared they'd lost Merlin the way they had Morgana.

"And we're coming with you." Arthur added. "I don't think you want to waste whole those years invested in me and go back to the "spoilt boy" who wished to be king, but had the slightest idea how to do it."

"We're not leaving you alone." the knights uttered with determination. The warlock smiled and bowed friendly to them, then he took several steps towards Morgana. The witch made some steps back until she reached with her back pressed closer to the wall. His cold, expressionless face was terribly scary.

"Should you try something, I'll kill you instantly." Merlin pointed out to Morgana.

"Is it an yes?" The witch hardly dared to ask.

"This is for the old Morgana. The one I've admired and loved." Then she spoke to his friends. "You can take her."

"But she has magic." Arthur pointed out.

And as he said it Morgana noticed his eyes shone gold while he tightened his grab on her hand. "Not anymore." The warlock utter with confidence and let her hand go. But as he threw a last glance to her, Merlin read betrayal in her eyes.


	3. Just one last dance

Just one last dance

"I do not like that man. I must get to know him better." (Attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

* * *

Merlin was sitting on her bed with his back to Morgana. He was shirtless and the witch was starring amused at the bleeding scratches on his back.

"You scratched me, didn't you?" The High Priestess yawned and leaned her face on his back while she let her hands rest on his chest.

"Good. Now she will know you're taken." Morgana pointed out firmly. The warlock turned so he could see her face.

"She? Which she?"

"Any she." He laughed.

"What? I don't like to share things. Least of all to share you. I don't want you to go."

"I want to cast the spell this morning and there are some things I need to do before. Do you remember what you have to do?"

"I do. I do. It's not yet morning. Just stay a bit longer."

"Not tonight." It was a promise.

The room was a mess, the windows broken, things thrown all around. He cleaned it with a single spell.

"We couldn't keep like this during Uther's reign."

"But I want us to keep like that. Plus, I don't care about him."

* * *

She hadn't intended to sleep with him. Her plan was to embarrass him or seduce him or whatever would make her feel she had the upper hand, but somehow it backfired and things got complicated.

In fact all this thing about "I'm going to try your way" had been a lie. She had needed time to defeat him. Later the witch realized turning back the time hadn't been a bad idea afterall. She was going to meet Morgause and Mordred and maybe save Aithusa. Then she could kill Emrys, too.

She spent whole day locked in her old room, forced to wear a necklace which was supposed to conceal her magic. Nobody came to visit her. The witch received food and water for bath, she'd found them in the room when she'd been brought in. But the water had been already cold.

The High Priestess had little to do whole day, but plotting, trying outfits and brushing her hair.

When he finally came, Morgana had been ready for hours.

Merlin entered the room wearing the same overconfidence on the way he tread as he had disposed a day ago. He closed the door behind him, threw off his cloak, allowing her to see his face, a beautiful cold marble face that caused her to feel weak and vulnerable.

The witch was behind the changing screen. Yet she kept spying on him even from there.

"Could you give me a dress, Merlin?" The witch said pretty calm.

"What good to wear something, doesn't it?"

"I was intending to put something on. I just don't know what to wear. My dress is too torn and dusty."

He closed her wardrobe, took her nightgown and threw it at her. Morgana took it and started to dress.

"If you say so." He muttered.

"What?"

"Let's settle the details, Morgana. I don't have much time."

"What else do you have to do? Come. The queen forgot to send someone to help me. Would you mind if I ask you to brush my hair?" She went to the bed and from there the witch pointed towards the hairbrush. To the witch surprise, he sat near to her and started to brush her hair as she sat with her back towards him and he was neither embarrassed nor seduced, in fact he acted pretty naturally despite being so close of her and despite her irresistible perfume.

"What should I wear tomorrow? Would you..." She continued.

"We'll see. But first, we must put an end to this attitude. Do you want me to stay?" She nodded. "Well, your bed is better than mine. I love the fabric of the bed sheets. I've never slept on something so soft." The warlock said, but upon catching her glance he added "after I have a bath."

"Here?"

"Why not?"

"Honestly, Merlin! It's my room."

"Wasn't you the one who wanted to play? Game on."

"The water is cold."

"I can heat it, Morgana."

"Get out, Merlin!" Now he'd gone on her nerves.

"No". Merlin answered simply. "The rules are simple, Morgana. When you want me to stay, I go and when you want me to go, I stay." He added and he couldn't hold back a laugh as her face betrayed defeat.

"Then, stay." The witch tried to use his words against him.

"That's exactly what I'm going to do."

"But the rules?!"

"The rules don't apply to me." Merlin uttered on a tone of superiority.

"Damn you, Emrys."

Morgana had thought he'd been joking, but it proved Merlin had been pretty serious. Little did he cared it was her room. In fact, he seemed to enjoy the fabric of the bed sheets. And he was so damn sexy when he stretched his body playfully like a sleepy kitty that she inevitably was staring at him. The warlock allowed a smile to spread on his lips and rolled closer to her, so close that he could hear her heart beat.

Morgana struggled to control herself, but the more she tried the harder she found to breath properly. Everything the witch could think about was how would feel his lips on hers. And when he grabbed her tightly and pulled her closer Morgana knew she'd lost even the little control she'd had.

In fact, the witch didn't want to control herself. Whole her life she had to show control. As lady Morgana she always had to obey the court's rules and there were thousands of such rules. Not even as Morgana Pendragon was she free to do what she wanted. Obviously, you can't kiss your mortal enemy, can you? But she loved it. Every single kiss, every single touch made her yearn for more.

* * *

"What about the dress?" the witch asked as she noticed he was ready to go.

"I don't know. I'm not good at such things, Morgana. Have you ever seen me wearing a dress?" Morgana couldn't help laughing genuinely. Imagining Merlin dressed like that was really hilarious.

"No, but you know what you like to see." And she rolled playfully in the bed. "Would you pass me the nightgown, please?" He considered whether he should give her the dress. He wasn't going to make it easy for her.

"Why?" The warlock asked innocently.

"Because I feel naked without it." She'd had a moment of weakness, but she was starting to regain her self-confidence and her incredible and yet diabolical way of playing with other people's feelings while pretending to be the victim.

The warlock answered with a laughter. Eventually, he gave the dress to Morgana, but not before he'd stolen another kiss from her.

"Should it be the red one" the witch continued as she pushed Merlin away while he refused to let go of her. Yet her every gesture was the one of a spoilt little girl who knew she was loved and especially because she was loved she felt like she owned the world. "you know the dress I wore at the banquet Lady Helen tried to killed Arthur. You seemed to like it." Morgana was an expert when it came to flirting and playing around and she didn't cow from showing it off. "Plus, you handled well with brushing my hair, last night."

"You better get back to sleep, Morgana. It really doesn't matter what you wear." Once again, the warlock tried to leave the room, but whole he managed to do was to get at the door.

"May I wear nothing then?"

"If that pleases you, My Lady." Morgana chuckled. Then, she lazily stepped down of the bed and dashed in his arms. The witch putted her arms round his neck and bent her legs so her body would hang freely in the air.

"I want the best dress" She whispered in his ear. "And I hardly give up when I want something."

"That's how you used to act when you're a kid, didn't you?" Morgana didn't even ask him whether he'd been speaking about her never giving up or about her way of jumping in his arms. Her first thought went directly to the latter.

"I used to jump on my father arms and keep my hands round his neck. And he used to turn round and round and round… and it felt so safe there. Can't you bring back that time, Merlin?"

"Unlike you, I don't miss those years. Plus, it would be pretty awkward if we were to be stuck in the bodies of kids."

"Nevertheless, I wish you did it." Her answer was quite unexpected as well as her request. She could see it on Merlin's face as his playfully smile turned into a sad one.

It wasn't what she'd hoped for. Well, the dark angel hardly knew what she'd hoped for. Merlin had just reminded her of that time and she'd just said what she'd felt.

"I have to go." Morgana startled as she'd been wrapped in thoughts. There was something in his voice that made her believe he didn't want it and the witch couldn't help but put on a painful smile on her face. They hadn't shared a smile for longer she could remember.

"You have to, indeed."


	4. Something is wrong

**I hope you're still there. I know it's been a while since I've published something, but you'll forgive me, won't you? Thank you to all who have encouraged me to keep going.**

* * *

 _'We should see the world as it is, not as we'd like it to be and we should understand that the majority of people don't see us the way we do. Only after we've understood that, we are able to decide which direction we want to go and how we are going to reach the destination.'_

Something is wrong

"Merlin!" The king cried relieved as the heard the warlock calling his name. Merlin's voice was cold and firmer than it had used to be, but Arthur was too confused to notice that. "You won't believe what a strange dream I had." The king added while he got down of the bed and started to prepare for the day.

"Can't you just hurry up, Arthur?" Merlin threw at him. "It's already late."

"I've dreamt you were a sorcerer and Morgana was so scared of you and there was that story you…." And the king kept jabbering on and on while Merlin helped him get ready. "Wasn't it real, was it?" The king ended, still unsure what to believe.

"No, I was just joking and poor Morgana really believed everything. It seems I'm actually good at playing pranks." Merlin answered, a bit disappointed to find his friend was such a light head sometimes. Arthur watched him surprised. He couldn't say if Merlin was sarcastic or he was speaking the truth. After a while, Arthur burst into laughters.

"You're right. It's stupid. You a sorcerer!? Wait a moment. You pretend to be a sorcerer?! It didn't look like you were pretending."

"Merlin, are you sure the prophecy doesn't speak about another Arthur?"Morgana added as she entered his chambers, confusing her brother even more. Soon she was followed by the others. "Yes, Arthur, he was just curious how it feels to be melodramatic. I have to admit he had just so much imagination. Have you never noticed how talented he is?"

"Are you ready?" Merlin asked as they'd entered the room. "Sorry for ruining your fun, kids, but you can admire my talent later. Now, shall we be serious?"Arthur watched them flabbergasted.

"It wasn't a dream, was it?"

* * *

The Dragon Lord was pretty aware that such a spell would be too much for himself as there were too many people he had to take with him. And so he risked. Merlin knew for sure that whatever the result, it would be milder than what he would have achieved had he been to try it alone. The warlock didn't trust Morgana despite the yesterday conversation, despite the last night's events. In fact, he didn't know what to think about last night. Was it for the best or were they to destroy each other?

"Take you neckless off!" The Last Dragon Lord commanded. "We're going to do it together." Trust was a doubled edged sword, he knew that, but how was he supposed to gain Morgana back if he was unable to trust her? Not that he wanted it for himself, but for his friends and for the safety of Camelot. It was his only chance to save the people he loved. And this time the warlock was decide to act , should she tried anything stupid

"Remember to stay focused. It's important not to allow your mind wander freely." He reminded her for the umpteenth time. "Close you eyes and try to see the moment with you mind. Remember, focus on the day you helped me protect Eldore."

"I got it, Merlin!" Morgana cried. "There's no need to repeat." Yet, it was clear Morgana had her mind away and he had a feeling that his talk with her in the morning had a lot to do with it. And he needed her help. Even if she wasn't a match for his magic, the High Priestess was still strong and Merlin was aware that her powers might alter the spell. So, he tried to prevent it on the soft way, by getting some sense in her mind.

"I'm sorry, Morgana, but I can't take you back there. And..in fact, I guess you don't want it either, despite the fact you miss them. Please, just focus for a moment."

"You can't understand" She threw at him. "You can't possibly understood how is like to lose those you love. But do not worry. I'm not going to get back to my childhood. Shall we start?"

Why was he surprised? It was typical for her. Obviously none was able to understand! Maybe, he wasn't able to understand how she felt, but he knew very well how painful losing someone could be. So, he'd only thrown her a reproachful glance before he started.

He spoke the words and allowed his magic fly free around them. He only hoped that everything would be fine.

* * *

The warlock was right, the witch could hardly focused on the right memory as she couldn't get her previous discussion with Merlin out of her head. Every memory leaded her to another and another and so one. She felt the magic. She felt her body disappear in thin air and then Merlin let go of her hand. Everything disappeared and the witch fell into oblivion.

When she woke up, Morgana realized to her surprise that she wasn't in her room in Camelot. Yet she had a sense of deja-vu she couldn't explain. The witch was sure she'd been there before, but it was so hard to remember.

She quickly got up of her bed, decided to inspect the place. It was a lovely day, sunny and warm, but those things didn't matter for her. She wanted to see the buildings. At first, the witch had intended to cry out hoping someone would come and explain her what had happened; how she got there. She changed her mind, though, after she'd decided it might be dangerous. So, her only plan was to inspect the surroundings and the quickest and best way to do it was to look through the window.

But as she tried to do it, the witch came to a shocking realization: the window was too up for her and Morgana could hardly see a thing. Then, scared as a thought popped up in her mind she hurried to find a mirror only to have her feeling confirmed. The mirror revealed a sweet little darked-haired girl no more than six years old. If it hadn't happened to herself, the witch would have laughed by seeing the girl's shocked face. But that girl was she and Morgana found no reasons to laugh.

* * *

Merlin knew something was wrong. They weren't definitely to the right moment. When he'd sensed Morgana's thoughts he'd tried to fight her back and somehow it reminded him of her cruel smirks she had used to share with him while still pretending to be Utter's loving ward.

Soon, Merlin had his feeling confirmed as he decide to pay Morgana a visit. (None of his friends hadn't been able to figure out for themselves the moment Merlin had brought them to. Clearly they weren't in Eldore. It was before Morgana's betrayal as Utter was sound and safe and Gwaine, Percival and Elyan were nowhere to find. The only solution was to visit her. First of all he needed to know if she was there too or he would have to deal with the Morgana of that time. Secondly, he wanted to know how difficult would be to deal with Morgana of that time.)

Merlin knew the answer as soon as he opened the door. Very difficult. Two of his worst fears had turned into reality and his bouquet of wild flowers was not enough to bring a smile on a hateful and distrustful Morgana. At least, they had arrived before her betrayal.

"What do you want?" Morgana hissed at him.

"To see you. Is it not quite obvious?" She was mesmerising, but so cold. Yet, he'd been dealing with her for longer he could remember. The truth was it had always been hard. No, impossible. But, in that instant he had years of experience the woman in front of him didn't have. Plus, he'd become pretty good at keeping his feelings in check, while showing the world the mask he wanted it to see and yet no one had ever noticed it was a petty mask.

"Talk!" She command.

"We have a problem. Have you come back from the future or something?" She watched him flabbergasted. "I guess you haven't. This is the problem."

"What kind of joke is it?" The witch couldn't understand his strange behaviour. In fact, nothing made sense to her.

The moment she'd seen him at the door with those flowers in his hand, Morgana simply couldn't figure out what that might mean and so she didn't know how to act. For a moment she'd thought he'd come to ask for forgiveness, but now the witch had no idea what he really wanted.

"There is no joke. I am from the future and it was supposed you are the Morgana of my time. If you were not her, then where is she?"

"I don't understand a thing! Have you drank something?" Merlin pushed her a bit so he could enter inside. He shut the door after him and found a comfortable chair where he sat down.

"Waw, I'm surprised you didn't ask me what I bumped into. If you really want to know, Morgana, I drank a glass of wine, I spent the night with my mortal enemy and somehow we end up speaking about childhood and now I have the slightest idea where she is. By the way, where I am?"

"I don't care what you did last night, Merlin."

"Don't you care for your future version? Help me find her! Do you know where she… Is it somewhere you would like to be? Somewhere in the past? Tell me, please!"

"Why will I do that?"

"Because everything she does right now will change the world we live in."

"I hope she kills you then. This way I will finally get rid of you."

Well, he was more scared of her killing Arthur than that, but Morgana might be right. Killing him would be the best solution to have everything she wanted. Maybe, it was what she wanted from the start. Yet, there was nothing he could do to prevent it. He would have to find another way to make her speak before Morgana (the one from the future) would do something stupid. Until then the warlock needed to find a way so his friends wouldn't be affected by the changed that her actions would cause to the future. This was the only answer he had.

"By the way, Morgana, you future version seemed to enjoy my company last night. " The warlock threw at her while he stood up and hurried towards the door. "Why would she kill me?", he added and then he got out leaving her so troubled and furious that the witch was unable to say a word.


	5. The siblings

**Thank you to all those who read my story. I've never had so many readers. I'm really surprised. Yet, I'm a bit disapointed that none had left a word for me. May I ask why?**

 **Soon we'll be two years since I've started to write. First of all, I want to thank all those who've been here from the start and those who've joined during the time. Secondly, I'm intending to celebrate with a new chapter from "The Silver Dragon" (I just think that it will fit as it all started with "The Light and the Darkness" to continue with its sequel)**

 **And finally, I just want to ask again for your help (those who haven't read my profile) I need some intresting facts about United Kingdoms. If you have time and it makes you pleasure, please, write me back. I'll be really greatful if you do so.**

 **Hope you like this chapter. Things get very, very complicated.**

* * *

The siblings

The warlock spent whole night casting spells on one of the chambers under the castle so he would create a protection space against any change Morgana might cause to their time.

He hardly had any time left to sleep, but at least he'd found a solution. If Arthur were to forget everything they'd been through…. No, Merlin was certain he would not be able to deal with that. Finally, Arthur knew who he was and the king had accepted him. Plus, that Arthur had grown into a great king. True he had a long way ahead, but there was a progress.

Merlin only needed to find a way to fix the problem with Morgana and bring her back. He knew almost nothing, but that she must have gone back to the time her parents were still alive which meant it was before she was 10. The only solution he could find was to go back in time to the very moment before her father went to that battle.

It was a risky move because Morgana may have chosen a even more remote time and it would give her enough time to change the future… Yet he couldn't do much, but hope she wouldn't do anything stupid.

* * *

Arthur felt really awkward as he sat down near his father and face to face with his cruel sister. Now, that he knew her true intentions he wondered how he hadn't seen it before. Merlin couldn't tell him whether she knew about her true origins, but the way she looked at him told Arthur she did. Morgana hated him.

Every time Uther spoke proudly about his son, the glitter of hate became obvious in her eyes. Part of him felt sorry for her. The prince tried to imagine how he would have felt whether he were to stay at the same table with his own father and his father were to show love towards only one of his children. Well, Uther loved Morgana. It was obvious. Arthur was sure she knew that, but even though, the fact that he refused to reveal the truth it must have been too painful to her.

"I'm not your only child, Father." Arthur threw at him reproachfully. He threw a glance towards Morgana to check whether she'd known. His sister was completely shocked. She was watching him unable to move. Uther was shocked too.

"What?" He tried to fake his confidence. Morgana put the fork down. Fury was written on her face. Yet she managed to keep it in check. Arthur threw a glance at Merlin before he went on. His friend seemed proud of him.

"Do you have idea how much damage this has brought to us, to Camelot? Do not watch me so surprised. I've seen it… So, I decided to go back to the past because I couldn't kill her despite the fact she tried to kill me more times that I remember. Despite everything she'd done she was...is my sister. But she's so cruel."

"What do you…?"Uther couldn't find his words. There was too much at once for him to chew. That Arthur knew one of his deepest secrets was bad enough as it was, but that his beloved children were going to try to kill each other was more than a father could bear, king or not.

"What have you expected? She's your daughter after all and it seems she inherited your terrible crave for power."

"That's impossible. How did you find?" The king felt it was worthless to deny anymore. The thought of a war between the two people he loved the most on this world, the thought of sweet Morgana turning into whatever Arthur said she would….that was definitely a nightmare.

"She just took over Camelot, brought an immortal army, killed everyone who dared to opposed her and forced you to acknowledged her. By the way she has magic."

"It can't be…" Morgana muttered. Everything she wanted was to bring magic back. Killing innocent people was Uther's doing. She wouldn't be like him. She threw a glance towards Merlin in the hope he would disapprove Arthur's words. Instead she read there more than Arthur had had to courage to voice. What was she going to become?

"Arthur, you must have a nightmare. This is stupid." Uther insisted and his glanced was fixed on his daughter, begging her to deny it. He begged for her kind smile. She wasn't capable of something like that.

"Is it? She had magic, but you hate magic. You kill people that possess it. She've seen it day after day. She feared for her life. Eventually, she decided to fight."

"Arthur" The tension grew high. It wasn't going to end well, but Arthur couldn't help feeling furious. His father kept lying him as if his opinion wouldn't count.

"Let me finish. How many enemies have you created this way, Father?"

"Magic is evil and.." The king tried to keep his ground.

"And what you did isn't? How many friends did you sentenced to death? Do not take me for a child. You are going to lift the ban, Father."

"Never!" The king shouted.

"Then you give me no choice, Father. It's time you gave up your throne."

"Arthur! You can't."

* * *

Morgana was flabbergasted. She didn't heard the rest of conversation as the way Arthur had described her scared her. She wasn't like that. She just wanted to save the people like her. Instinctively her glance hang pleadingly to Merlin.

"Yes, my lady." He answered. "That's what you're going to become. But we are here to change it."

"Then, why do you want that...Morgana back?" The Lady asked.

"Because I fear what she may do. What I said before is true. She can change the future."

"What will happen with me when…?" He answered before Morgana managed to finish her question.

"You'll still be you, but you'll have her memories."

"What if I don't want them?"

"I'm sorry." Merlin answered. He really was sorry because he knew there were memories Morgana would rather forget.

She was so tense, so furious that she could not keep her emotions in check. She heard them arguing, but she could not register what they said. Yet the very sound of their furious voices made her lose temper. The witch stood up and shouted.

"Stop it! Both of you." The king and Arthur watched her surprised. The windows cracked and break spreading shards everywhere inside the room. She simply didn't know what to say. She just stood there watching them, hating them.

"Let's go, Arthur!" Merlin tried to get him out of the room.

"But…"

"Come!" The warlick insisted and he dragged the prince out of the room. Morgana followed them, leaving Uther shocked and hurt. For the first time, the king noticed the hatred from his daughter's eyes.

* * *

"What is this?" Morgana asked as she entered the room.

"You can't stay here." Merlin told her as kindly as possible. "This room will protect you from any change that will occur."

He knew something was different. What had happened in the dinner room, the windows, Morgana's fury; all those had been caused by the changes. She must have sensed it and her magic had simply got magnified and so her feelings.

"What changes?" Morgana asked. "And why am I not allowed to stay?"

Merlin just shut the door using his magic. "Fine! If you want to stay, you can stay. Morgana had done something. When you get out, the world you know pretty well will be different. This room will keep your memories alive, but the people outside would have lived another life you didn't. I have to find her. Do not get out until we're back."

"Where are you…?" But Arthur was not able to finish as he had already disappeared. He just sat next to Gwen and took her in his arms.

"Everything would be alright, Gwen. He know what he does."

"He better does." Morgana said coldly and she sat down far away from them. "What? Do not expect to hug you, dear brother? You're still a spoilt brat."

"Do you really hate me? Why?"

He took her by surprise. She couldn't accuse him of being like his father as he'd proved that he want to end the war against magic. Yet she hated him for always being the golden boy. She hated him for having everything she couldn't have.

"I hate you because you are a spoilt brat, Arthur. You always were and you'll always be."

Leon just look at them. Morgana's voice wasn't so full of hatred as it had used to be. The knight hoped things would get better.

Yet, none of them noticed the other person who was sharing the same room with them. They had just been so focused on what Merlin had said that none heard the door opening and closing and a figure entering there.

* * *

Merlin was a bit surprised when he wake up in a room he'd never been before. It was late at night, but despite the deep darkness that surrounded everything, the warlock still was able to acknowledge that he wasn't home. He was supposed to be around 10 and that meant he was supposed to be in Ealdore, but that wasn't Ealdore and… Merlin knew he had to find Morgana and fast.

* * *

It been 4 years since she'd come back to the past. Part of her life had been happy since then, but Morgana still found it hard to pretend being a child. In fact, it was very, very awkward. But she loved spending her time with her father...and her mother despite her not being the person Morgana had thought she was.

At first, the witch had been very mad on her for cheating on her father and for all those lies, but as the time passed she realized she would lose her soon and she didn't want to part like that. She was her mother after all.

Yet, the life wasn't by far how she'd expected. She was happy, but she had lots of doubts and terrible disappointments. Long then, she'd been just a kid and she'd been unable to judge the facts. Her parents were perfect simply because they were her parents and there is hardly any kid to think differently. But now, as she had lot of experience, Morgana was able to see their flows and it hurted. But still she loved them.

The only thought that hadn't let her sleep at night was her father's stupid loyalty towards Uther. She hadn't expect that when she'd asked him to find Merlin. She had not expected that they would frighten him. Well, it was quite obvious. Merlin didn't know them at that time and he was pretty young and magically unstable. She just hoped he was alright.

At least he managed to escape, but she knew nothing about his mother. Hunith had sacrificed herself so he would run. Her father had promised Uther wouldn't hurt her, but Morgana had a bad feeling when she thought about Uther. The witch knew him pretty well and she hardly remembered a time when someone accused of sorcery or of harbouring a sorcerer had got out of those dungeons safe and sound.

She wanted to believe her father when he said she was alright. She wanted to believe he didn't hide things from her. And she wanted to believe he would never do something like that. But she knew it was a lie when he said he had wanted to help the boy. She'd heard his commands to his soldiers and she knew damn so well that Uther didn't help kids like that.

But it had been 4 years since then and she had forgiven him. He'd wanted just to serve his king. As she'd heard nothing about Hunith's execution she'd started to believe, in time, that her father had really intervened and put some sense in the tyrant's mind. That's what Uther had said after all - that his friend used to challenge him in every way. Morgana was sure he'd saved Hunith. He couldn't have done it differently.

Now, the little witch was troubled by the fight her father would have to go and he would never come back. No matter what she'd tried, Morgana found no way to keep him home.

* * *

Merlin sneaked out of the room, trying not to woke up the sleeping figure that was lying in the bed near to his. It was too dark there to see their face and the warlock couldn't risk waking them up, especially that he had the slightest idea who they were or how he should act when near to them.

So, he gave up any attempt to unravel the mystery surrounding his new life and focused on finding Morgana and bring her to the right time.

* * *

Morgana startled as she saw the figure of a child behind her. He was around her age, skinny, but yet a lovely boy. His blue eyes had captured her from the first moment. She knew those eyes.

"It's time to go, Morgana." The boy spoke with such authority. Yet the witch burst into laughters.

"You were pretty funny, Merlin. And such a sweet boy." Morgana couldn't help but tease him.

"Thanks, but we have to…"

"I know, Merlin, but… It's… I'm not going to see my parents again and… I wish…" Morgana knew she had to go. That wasn't her place any more, her life...but it didn't make the departure any easier.

"Why don't you save them?" The witch watched him with surprise.

"How?" She was ready to do anything. Her enthusiasm was hard to miss and the warlock smiled as he read hope on her face.

"Help him survive the war. Heal your mother. I don't think it might cause any damage to the future. Do you want to come?"

"You are a genius!" Morgana exclaimed. "I will probably regret that I said that, but you really are a genius." And the witch rushed down the corridors.

"Where are we going?" Merlin asked trying his best to follow her.

"Towards the kitchen. We are going to the battlefield…"

"Right." Merlin approved her although he couldn't see the connection between the war and the kitchen.

"We're going to need food." She exclaimed as if would have been the most obvious thing in the world. "May I retreat my words? You are really stupid, Merlin!"

The two kids laughed together as if they had never been mortal enemies, as if they had never tried to kill each other, as if they had never met hatred and pain. They laughed as if they had been really ten and they had gone to try a new funny game.

No one noticed the two kids who changed the entire history of the war. The soldiers and the lords only noticed how clumsy their enemies had suddenly become. And as if their clumsiness weren't enough they had such a bad luck; rocks, trees, swords everything seemed to feel a certain pleasure in falling over them or in "helping" them to touch the ground faster and unexpectedly.

So, lord Gorlois came back home safe and unscattered and his little girl waited him at the top of the castle stairs. As she saw him, Morgana rushed towards him and landed straight in his arms. Merlin watched al from the distance. It was lovely to see them so happy.

* * *

"What about my mother?" Morgana asked as they were alone in her room and she was sure none could hear them. "She's not ill yet."

"We can't wait any longer. There's nothing you know that may protect her from any disease? I'm bad at healing spell and… I bet you know much more about such things than me. If there's something I can do, I will gladly help you."

"Well, it may be something, but I don't know how to make her drink the cure… I mean I won't be here and it's not like I could tell her she will get ill and die and…"

"And enchanted necklace. Make her swear she will wear it all the time. And, in fact, I guess you can tell her. Tell her you had a nightmare. Tell her that you gave that necklace to protect her. You are ten. It's nothing bad in believing in such things. She loves you and I bet she would wear it if that were to make you happy."

The witch smiled. He needed no words to know she'd accepted his idea. Morgana just started to search through her things, throwing unwanted objects all over the place and keeping on looking for the thing. Finally, she stopped.

"Could you make it look more… ladylike?" Morgana asked in her childish voice while putting her best innocent face on. She was holding a little necklace in her hands.

"What you mean "ladylike"?"

"Like fit for a lady. I want it too be made of gold and gems and…"

"But then it won't be from you."

"How is she going to wear it, Merlin? It's…"

"Perfect. It's a gift from you. I can make it more resilient so it won't break, but I won't turn it into gold. If you want her to believe you, act like a child. No little girl will think that a necklace made of gold is more precious that her favorite necklace."

"Fine. If it doesn't work..."

"It will. Do not forget that you'll still be here. Well, not really you, but you get the idea."

"It's strange you know? What is going to happen during this gap between now and the moment we are going to find ourself in the future?"

"Time will follow it course. You'll find out soon."

"Will I remember?"

"If what I read is true, yes, you will and so does your little version. She will live thinking she's you...I mean...with all your memories and probably she would know you are in the future because she will remember this day and… You're right. It's complicated. Let's hope everything will be alright."

"Fine. Let's finish it!"

* * *

Finally, they were where they'd been supposed to be. Arthur and Gwen waited impatiently for them.

"It's done!" The warlock exclaimed as he caught their glance. "Are you fine, Morgana?" He directed his attention towards her to search whether he'd been successful.

"I guess so. What about the knights?" She asked as she was shocked not to hear Gwaine's usual jokes.

"They are fine. Do not worry. I made sure they will remember. Just like you."

They all asked themselves when would he stop surprising them. Most certainly, never.

"Now it's time to go back. Somethings may be different. Future has been altered, but I hope things will be better." He just watched each of them to see the reaction his words had on then. "Do not worry" he went on " you will remember this life. Or at least you are supposed to." The last part, though, was spoken too low to be heard. In fact, he didn't intend to be heard.

* * *

As she opened the door, Morgana was shocked to hear her mother's voice. She was in Camelot, in a visit to Camelot, the witch remembered.

"Come on, Morgana! You are going to be late for the feast." The witch just casted a last glance towards the mirror and then unexpectedly she hugged her mother who, taken by surprise, didn't know how to answer to her burst of enthusiasm and love, so she just hugged her back. Merlin was right, there were thousands of memories of this new life and Morgana was sure she liked it much more.

* * *

Arthur found his life quite the same except that he and Morgana hadn't grown up together. But she had used to visit Camelot quite often. Gorlois and Uther were actually very good friends. Arthur couldn't help asking himself what had happened, should lord Gorlois would have found out about his wife's betrayal. "Better he never finds out." The prince thought

* * *

Gwen, too, found her life quite the same. She was Morgana's serving girl only when she came to Camelot, but apart from that she was the same girl she used to be. Well, her relation with lady Morgana wasn't so tight as it had used to be. This new Morgana was much more confident and even a bit arrogant. Well, there was no wonder she'd been spoilt by her both parents.

Before she hadn't quite liked her, but now that she knew how sad and scared she had used to be in her "other life", Gwen was happy to know she'd been so spoilt. After all, Morgana deserved it.

* * *

Merlin instead was trying to handle the multitude of changes. Nothing was the same except that he was still Arthur's servant, Arthur was still a spoilt boy (at least the one of this time was; he hadn't met his Arthur), Gwen was still sweet, Leon was still loyal and wise.

The warlock just went to his room. He needed to be alone for a while. Part of him wanted to cry for what he'd lost; he was scared, really scared, just like a little boy, but that was his life now and it wasn't worth crying over spilt milk.

He'd expected to find no one in his room instead he was welcomed by the only person who had showed him love for the last 14 years. Merlin was shocked to find how great impact this life had on him even if he'd never lived it. But it seemed real, more than real.

He was eeve much more shocked as he acknowledged that the same person who had rushed to hug him was the same person who somehow had ruined his other life.

"I was wondering what my little brother is planning to do in Camelot? I heard you conquered the hearts of all the girls around." She joked.

"Hello, sis! Nice you came to tease me" He answered her back and Merlin was surprised how natural it had came.

For a few moment the two foster siblings had watched each other before a smile appeared on their lips.


	6. Do you know me?

Do you know me?

They were all in the dining room. Morgana couldn't help feeling furious as she saw how close her father was to Uther. If he were to know….

She casted a glance towards Arthur. He was probably considering the same scenarios. Yet he was firmly concealing his real feelings under his kingish mask.

* * *

What was most annoying was that everybody was really enjoying the feast. Part of him wished he had never known the truth;that he had never known the future.

Part of him was grateful to have all of them back even if it wasn't perfect. In fact, their family was far from perfect. Yet knowing the truth made Arthur much more aware of the reality. For instance, he was ready for the worst scenario when Morgana would make her move again and try to attack Camelot.

At the same time, he was able to see that that move would also be in her disadvantage. She loved Gorlois and Arthur doubted his sister would ever risked to lose him. Arthur was sure that the very thought that her "father" might push her away for being his best friend's daughter rather than his own was frightening her. She must have also been afraid of any conflict between Gorlois and Uther. But he was also very much aware Morgana was strong, very strong and protecting Gorlois needn't have to be a problem.

* * *

Protecting Gorlois from Uther was not a problem for the witch. If that tyran were to try something… Well, it would be a good excuse to act.

Gorlois' innocence and his unconditional trust in the king brought Morgana all the hatred she'd felt towards him back. Morgana considered the possibility of killing Uther, again. But this time she had to be much careful. This time it would be much more difficult as Arthur suspected her. The other great problem was that it had to look like an accident. Yet Merlin wouldn't buy it no matter what she did, she was pretty aware of it. Her only solution was to get rid of him. If only it were so easy. Arthur watched her every move and Merlin wasn't the type to die easily.

* * *

Merlin entered the room quite late. Arthur was about to throw an ugly remark at him for being so lazy, but he suddenly remembered who Merlin really was and the former king thought twice before opening his mouth. Not that he was afraid of Merlin, although he should have, but he respected him for deciding to be at his side, to work as a servant when he could be the king. So if he were late, the warlock deserved the time he'd spared for himself. Yet Arthur doubt Merlin had been late without a purpose.

Yet it wasn't such bad idea to give him some days off. Merlin had given him the chance to be with his father and so the prince considered to be fair to give the warlock some days of to visit his mother. In fact, Morgana owned him that as well as him.

Thinking about that, an idea popped in his head. They had all enjoyed the time spent in Esldore maybe a little trip would prove useful for the four of them. It would offer him the time to find a solution to that terrible tension that hung between them and Morgana. So, he suggested it to Morgana, of course without Uther knowing about their plan.

* * *

Morgana noticed Merlin's being late and she decided to take advantage of it. So, she used her charm to make her complaints seem more dramatic than they were. After all, Uther might prove a valuable means for her ends. Someone was going to be punished….

What killed her was that she and Merlin had a good time back to the time he'd helped her save her parents; plus that she felt she owed him her having them there with her. The witch wanted badly to make it up with him, but forgiving him made her also felt vulnerable.

Morgana was afraid of being hurt again. She wanted to hate him. She just wanted him to take a wrong decision. The doubt was hurting the witch horribly. If only she could stop her heart to hope for things that would never be. Yet no one would tell her what to do; not even her heart. Even if he'd saved her parents, he'd hurt her bad enough so Merlin's good intentions would never make up for what he'd done.

* * *

Morgana watched Arthur surprised. The witch hadn't expected him to invite her especially after everything she had done. He also promised he would deal with his fathet's refusal to acknowledge her. But she forced him to tell not a soul about that. The very subject made her blood boil in her veins.

Why had it to be so difficult? She'd loved Ealdore. She'd kept so many lovely memories fresh in her mind from that day. They'd been friends and they hadn't never imagined one day they would fight against each other.

The witch wished she just could have gone back to that time. Part of her wanted to forget whole that hatred; to forget the pain and her terrible crave for revenge. She wished they had been friends once again. But she was just too proud, too vanitous to admit it could have been another way.

Yet it was a good idea. That was her chance to regain their trust. She would be very careful, though, so she wouldn't get hurt again and when Merlin would make a wrong move she would be able to prove the world she wasn't the villain of this story.

* * *

Merlin couldn't help admiring her. She was still so beautiful, so stunning. Her red dress suited her perfectly. Despite the long time Morgana had spent alone in the woods, she was still enchanting among the courtiers of Camelot. All the eyes were on her and yet the more attention she got, the happier she was.

Merlin was woken up from his revery from Uther's discontent glance. Ops! He'd forgotten he was alive. He didn't know if that glance had been caused by his delay or by the fact he'd been staring at Morgana or it was a mixture of both. However, it reminded him of rotten vegetables and of the fact Uther was the king.

The warlock mentally slapped himself for missing that very detail - Uther was alive and he didn't like it at all. He'd gotten used to a world where he wasn't forced to see his face everyday and play pretend. Merlin had never hated him so much as he did in that instant. So, he turned the king his back (he knew Uther would regard that as a proof of disrespect; little did he know that respect was the last thing the warlock had ever felt for him. However that was for his own safety. Merlin knew he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to blow the king off if he were to see his face again. So, think what he may, the warlock really didn't care) and he turned towards his king and friend, Arthur.

* * *

"Merlin!" Morgana called him gently. He hadn't noticed she'd been so close to him. The warlock forced a smile. Why didn't it come naturally? Maybe he needed just a bit much time to get used with his new life and let the past behind.

"Hi, Morgana!" Merlin noticed that she had lost some of her confidence. It was good. He hated when she felt that world went around her.

"I was wondering… Where have you been?" The witch changed her tone as her first attempt to speak with him made her feel like a stupid teenager.

"Busy." And as he felt an itchy to tease her, the warlock went on " with a girl." Well, he grew up with that girl and he'd never seen anything else but a sister in her. He could have never imagine ( not in this life, at least; their relationship in the other life was a bit too complicated to think about it) she being something else but a sister and a friend. Yet Morgana was free to think whatever she wanted.

It worked as the witch didn't seem happy with his answer. "Is it beautiful?" She heard herself asking. Why was it bothering her?

"Very." The warlock answered as short as possible. Teasing her was funny. "She is worth the rotten tomatoes I'm going to receive tomorrow." It wasn't actually a lie. He'd loved her company even if they had different opinions concerning Arthur and Camelot. Plus his remark was meant to "thank" her for speaking for (or better said against him) in front of the king. And he turned his back to her as he considered he'd tortured her enough and it was time to go.

"I wanted to suggest you a trip to your mother." The witch threw at him. Morgana hadn't intended to make it sound like that, but he'd got her on her nerves. She couldn't postpone it for later as she wanted to prove herself that she was able to do it.

However, the warlock didn't get the message right. To him, her tone was sarcastic and it got him out of his mind as he misinterpreted her intention. Well, the warlock had the slightest idea that Morgana didn't know about his mother.

"You never get sick of it, Morgana" He pointed out furious. "How could I believe your words? "Just give me another chance". Well, I gave you a chance to make things right, but you… you are just so bitter and so full of hatred and… You can't stop ruining other people's lives." Now it was his time to be bitter and cold.

The witch hadn't expected his outburst as she had done nothing wrong. Maybe, she said it a bit too rude, but… Well, his mother had almost died because of her, but it was hardly her fault.

"I'm sorry." She declared. The witch was really sorry for that. She hated Merlin, but she never meant to hurt his mother.

"Sorry?! Do you really think that this will fix everything? I was sorry, Morgana. I really was, but you didn't care for it because everything that has ever mattered for you is and will always be yourself. And now why should I accepted your apology? If only it would be sincere…"

"Fine. I'll forgive you." She declared annoyed. He was getting on her nerves. Why had it to be so complicated? It was supposed he would accept and everybody would be well. But he had to be stubborn and idiot.

"Fine." He spoke with indifference.

The witch hadn't expected that. "Don't you care?"

"I would have given anything for your forgiveness. But now it means nothing to me. I'm not the same, Morgana and this is your doing. So, enjoy what you've done."

The warlock said no more as he turned around and disappeared among the ladies and lords crowded to share their daily gossips. In vain did she tried to find him as Merlin was long gone. It worked worse than she'd anticipated.

* * *

Years ago

Merlin was terribly scared. His mother had told to run and he'd run. He should have never lost control, but he'd panicked as he saw that lord. He'd been wearing an armor and a very sharp sword and the little warlock was sure he had come for him.

He wandered through the woods until he could not feel his legs anymore. All he wanted was to go back to his mum. He wondered if she was alright. She had always had solutions for everything. He just had to listened to her. So, he run despite the pain that started to get unbearable. And then he fell down and let himself sink into oblivion.

When he woke up he wasn't anymore in the woods. His body hurt horribly and he groaned. A lovely lady came to his bed and tried to calmed him. She was probably a few years older than him. Pretty soon he found she was 15 and that she was an orphan as well as him.

"Where's mummy?" The boy asked. He was too scared to answer her with the same kindness as she'd disposed on him even though he really wanted to be his friend. There was something about that girl that made him trust her.

"I will help you save her." The girl promised. "But you have to get well before." She added and she covered him gently with the blanket. "Sleep well, Merlin".

* * *

Back to present

Arthur noticing his servant absence, decided to search for him. He suspected that something had happened and the prince wanted to be part of whatever it was.

As he headed for the physician's quarters without paying attention to anything, he almost bumped into someone (well, he would have if the unlucky person hadn't noticed him coming).

"Hey!" They shouted furious. "Don't you have eyes?" They went on. Arthur stopped and looked at the person in front of him.

"Morgause?!" He exclaimed.

"You knew me?!" The blonde answered. "It's quite surprising considering you hardly can see what is in front of your very eyes, but…." She teased him. "What else do you know about me?"

Arthur was a bit surprised by her remark. Well, it was Morgause, but… He had the slightest idea how to treat her. "That you are a witch." He answered her question. The prince doubted it was the best answer he could have ever found, but he'd learnt enough to avoid useless pleasantries.

"Auch! Yet you aren't scared of that." He said nothing, but his body spoke for him. He crossed his arms over his chest while involuntary kept tapping his right foot. The blonde witch was very good at deciphering the gestures. "Well, I'm surprised because your father hates magic and...well…I've hear a lot about his little spoilt offspring. You seem more mature than I've thought you are. Yet you despised me. Why is so?"

"Because of the way you use it." Morgause put on a fake surprised face, provoking him to went on. "Trying to take the crown of Camelot." That was really a surprise.

"While is true I want you father dead, I don't care for that crown, Arthur. Do you really blame me for wanting to be free, young prince? I hate Uther. I really do. You have the slightest idea what he did."

"I guess I do. I know about my mother."

"And?"

"He is my father, Morgause. He will always be. I don't know what I should do. But I will bring magic back. Just give me time, please. By the way, you don't really want the crown?"

"No, Arthur. All I want is it to be own by someone I trust. I don't trust Uther. This is pretty clear. Prove me I can trust you."

* * *

Past - 6 years ago

Hunith really hoped that her boy was safe. She asked the gods to take care of him and keep him away from Uther's men. The king was keeping her prisoner in the hope the boy would tried to save her and so he would be able to catch and kill him. Guards never left the door of her cell.

Gaius had promised to help her, but she knew there was hardly anything he could do for her. Her fate had been sealed. She just asked him to keep Merlin save.

* * *

Hunith woke up as she felt someone kissing her gently. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled as she saw Balinor knelt in front of her. She'd missed him and finally they were to be together. The poor woman dared to hope her future would be better now that he was back. He loved her. He still loved her.

They ran together on the vast corridors of Camelot's castle like they had been just two little kids. They had found each other and they cared for nothing else. Yet it wasn't meant to last. They realized it too, though.

Uther smirked content as the guards dragged them back to the dungeons. He'd been looking for a young sorcerer and instead he'd got a bigger one and also one of his greatest enemies. The last dragon lord was to be beheaded the next morning. The king wouldn't make the same mistake and let him escape. Eventually, the guards would find the boy too. They'd already surrounded the woods. There was no way he would be able to pass by them unnoticed.

* * *

Back to present

Arthur kept bubbling about his strange encounter with Morgause. Merlin listened to him absent-minded. Yet the prince was too caught in his own story to notice his friend paid no attention to his silly story.

Eventually the warlock stopped him as the prince had been telling him about Morgause challenging him to prove his value. "You should do what she told you to do." The warlock spoke wisely. Well, he wasn't so absent-minded after all; maybe just a bit selective. "Morgause could be a great ally and our only hope in bringing Morgana back. But you have to claim your throne." It was the first time Merlin suggested that.

"I can't kill my father." The prince answered a bit too harsh as he was both offended and disappointed about that suggestion coming from Merlin.

"I haven't said that." The warlock answered with the same rudeness he had received from his friend. "But the longer you postpone bringing back magic, the more enemies you'll got. Plus that I've changed Arthur. This time I'm not going to choose between anything. I've done enough to make sure you are ready to be king. Now it's your time to prove yourself. And by the way, I don't remembered teaching you that killing a man is the solution." Arthur had never imagined Merlin could be so blunt, but he hardly knew how much the warlock had tried to play his old role and failed. After everything they'd been through Arthur still didn't know him.

"What should I do?" Arthur muttered defeated.

"You're a grown-up boy, Arthur! Find a way!" Merlin uttered to him. It sounded rude and too blunt and it definitely didn't help the prince. "What?" The warlock exclaimed upon seeing the little puppy face Arthur had made. "I've seen you taking decisions before. You weren't so bad after all. And you had us: me, Gwen, Leon, Percival, Gwaine, Elyan and even Morgana. Now, if you excuse me, Your Highness, I have an important meeting to attend."

Merlin ended his motivational speech in a very formal way, trying to bring the prince back to reality. The warlock bowed with respect in front of the prince and then he leaded him to the door. Arthur watched him surprised as the warlock opened the door for him.

"Are you sure you don't need me?" Arthur couldn't hide his disappointment as Merlin refused to share his secrets with him.

"Yes, Arthur." Usually, the prince was the one who had important meeting to attend or at least that was what he'd thought. "I'll present you to her when the time is right."

"Her?" The princess bubbled confused, but soon he connected the dots and "Of course. I'll go." He added on a mischievous tone and then he disappeared. The warlock smiled content.


	7. Mending and harming

Mending and harming

 **14 years ago**

 _"You'll train him much harder than any boy you've ever trained." The woman ordered. The boy waited afraid with the sword trembling in his hands. It was too heavy for his small body and he had the slightest idea how to use it. Plus, that man was really frightening him. He was massive or at least that was how he looked to the poor boy._

 _"I'll do my best, my lady." The man promised and he bowed in front of the lady. The boy thought it pretty funny to see that rough man kissing the hand of such a delicate lady although the boy'd already found out that she was anything but delicate._

 _He kept falling and dropping the sword out of his small hands and then the blow came directly to his body as he couldn't stop them and the man was not going to stop no matter how much the little boy would begged him to. So, the boy would have to force his body to endure the pain and raise tall on his feet only to fall down again._

 _He clinged his hand around the sword, but the force of the blow threw the swords away while dislocated his arm from his shoulder._

 _The pain got unbearable and the man wouldn't stop because she wouldn't let him to. He hated her. He hated him. He hated that place. No he didn't hate that place because there was that blonde lady who would tell him stories at night and would take care of him. They would set his mother free and then they would leave that place together. It sounded perfect. But he had to survive until that night._

 _He stood up again; this time he was decided to win. The man laughed at his stubbornness, but as the boy's sword met the man's he freed his magic together with that blow and threw the man away. He had not idea how he'd done that. He'd just wanted it to end, but as the man showed no sign of life the boy panicked. The woman sent him away. She didn't seem quite upset for his actions, but it was very difficult to say it for sure. That night he was going to see his mother and they would run away; just the three of them._

* * *

Merlin climbed the stairs to her room. He needed someone to talk, but most of all he needed her help because no matter how much Morgana was getting on his nerves, he couldn't help caring for her. The warlock had already got over the phase when he'd realized he'd been such a big idiot. Well, idiot or not, the time for pitying himself was gone.

"If you came to plead for your little prince" Morgause stated as he entered her room "then you should know I don't want to hear about it." He couldn't help wondering how she'd known he wanted something. At least she hadn't guessed what.

"Hello to you too, Gesy! Yes, I had a nice trip and I'm alright. Thanks for your concern. No, I haven't come to plead for Arthur. You've already met him and I suppose you've realized I'm right." The witch laughed. That boy was never going to give up.

"Well, he's better than I've expected, but he definitely lacks manners. He accused me of trying to steal his crown." the witch laughed "Poor boy! What do you think the crown will suit me well?" Morgause went on and she pretend to arrange an imaginary crown on her head. The she started to waltz around the room as if she were at a waited for her to stop. "Just admit it. Arthur needs some tuition."

"You can teach him some of the precious lessons SHE gave to you, but it's Morgana who I think that really needs your help."

"What that silly girl needs is a good cuffing."

"Maybe." It was clear that he didn't agree with her which was hardly unusual for them. Yet Morgause decided to change the topic.

"You look like you've been in the middle of a tornado which is why I highly doubt you're alright." Morgause threw at him before she disappeared in the other room. She'd known something was wrong as he'd seen him, but she prefered to let him start rather than asking him to. Maybe, her cakes would make a used to love them.

The castle looked the same as the time he'd come there with Arthur to find the answers to the prince's questions. Yet it didn't scared the warlock anymore. In fact, it brought him many funny memories of the time he and Morgause used to hide there to escape under the eagle's eyes of the High Priestess.

"If it's not Arthur" she went on as she brought him a cake "then what is troubling you? Don't you dare to lie to me, you ambulant trouble-maker?"

"Morgana" He resumed all his problems in only one world.

"Morgana?! If I haven't known better I would have thought she'd enchanted you."

"She's ruthless and unpredictable, bitter, stubborn and very ambitious." He went on as if he hadn't heard her. "And she's Arthur's sister. If he dies the throne is hers."

"Honestly, I don't see the difference whether there's he or she on the throne. After all, they are both some spoilt children." The blonde admitted. "Well, she has magic which could been an advantage for us."

"Not if she uses it ruthlessly. People won't accept it. She has inherited just so much of Uther's character." The way he spoke let her understand more than he'd really said.

"Yet you said you've come to plead for her" The blonde High Priestess made him clear that it was time for him to split the gut. "Till now I've hardly see something on her to be worth being pleaded for. Am I wrong, Merlin? Or do I misinterpreted your words "needs your help"?"

"It's just… I can't really hate her. I did for a while, but eventually … I can't get her out of my mind... I've…."

"Let me guess. You feel your owe Arthur helping him becoming king, but at the same time you realized you've fallen for his beautiful sister, who, by the way, wants the same throne and you don't know who to pick."

"I know who to pick, but I don't want to pick anymore. I do understand why I fell for her before. I was just a stupid village boy who saw the world for the first time. But now. I had 11 years to learn. I spent another decade learning to keep my feeling in check and to be rational. I'm not supposed to act like a little boy and yet…."

"You know what Merlin? I don't get what is so special about her. She's just a spoilt girl and yet everybody will choose her no matter what. My parents abandoned me as if I had been nothing but an useless cloth. Yet she got all their love. And now you are willing to jeopardy the future of Camelot for her even if all she gives you is disregard and hatred. Why does she deserve it more than me?" Morgause threw all the fury out. Morgana was her sister, but deep down she hated her for having everything she'd only dreamt for. It was maybe because Morgana looked just so happy while Morgause had hardly had any kind of happiness.

"Waw" Merlin couldn't help to exclaim, but as he felt Morgause cold glance on him, he felt the need to explain. "First of all, you are loved and I'm sure one day you'll find someone to appreciate you the way you deserve, Gesy. Secondly, I think that's exactly how she felt about Arthur." And he told her the entire story.

Morgause listened to his story. He had such a way of telling stories. When they were young it was he rather than her who used to tell stories at night. Well, she usually started the story, but he always continued it, making it sound much more interesting that it really was. Well, that time it was a true story and he'd been part of it. "So I think she deserves all that happiness after all. I really wanted her to feel loved."

"You've made everybody happy, Merlin; me, Morgana, Arthur. I'm sorry I couldn't help you save your parents." Morgause spoke and she really meant it. He wanted to tell her he'd been happy, but she stopped him. "I know what you want to say. Yes, we were happy in that awkward way someone could be happy living in a cage. Look, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't hate her because you're right. Her life hadn't been perfect either, but…"

"No, I think you should tell her how you feel. This is brilliant" The warlock exclaimed maybe a bit to enthusiastically, but he acknowledged his mistake soon." I mean she loves you and this may help her realize that she is as prone to make mistakes as Arthur is; that she is making people she loves feel the way she felt and yet she has no clue."

"Fine. What you want me to do?"

"Help her. You could work as her maid for instance."

"Her maid?! Definitely not." She cried out, but he made such a face that she couldn't help feeling guilty.

"Just a tiny, tiny try." He played the sweet child part.

"Fine. I'll try." The warlock hugged her happily. "I said I'll try."

"It's perfect. Thanks, Sis!"


	8. The rules of the game

The rules of the game

 **14 years ago**

 _The little boy knew it was forbidden to play inside, but the weather was horrible and it had been like that the entire week. He was bored of staying quiet in his room. It was true that he hardly had time for getting bored as he had whole day planned, but that type of boredom Merlin had experienced during that week was rather a type of acute desire for playing freely than the result of the lack of occupation._

 _So he just hoped the lady wouldn't find that. He hid in one of the remote rooms upstairs where none used to go. The room was dusty, but the little warlock didn't care. Outside the rain was pouring from the angry sky, but in that forgotten room he was warmth and dry._

 _Playing there wouldn't have been a problem as no one except Morgause cared for him, if he hadn't fallen down from the stair he'd built using wooden boxes and if the noise hadn't alerted the Lady, who used to have her afternoon sleep at that hour. Merlin simply lost any contact with the reality as for the first time he was able to play freely without Lady's eagle eyes being focused on him. She had a way of ruining everything._

 _When he'd been brought there, Merlin had hoped to find the support he'd needed. Being allowed to use magic was, for the little warlock, the best thing in his life. He would have loved her if he had found in her the slightest bit of love. Yet she'd never loved them._

 _Morgause had got used to it long ago. Before meeting Merlin she'd thought that no one would ever love her, so she'd never loved back. But that young boy had been used to love and when his new guardian refused the love he was so willing to share with someone, he'd offered it all to Morgause. And Morgause couldn't resist to it._

 _When he realized his mistake, it was too late, Lady was already in the room. She refused to accept his apologies. In fact, she didn't want to hear what he had to say. The boy was immediately sent to his lessons and she promised he would pay the consequences pretty soon._

 _The only reason she tolerated him was his powers. His great powers made him valuable and she was decided to take advantage of it. So she did her best to turned the boy in her own warrior._

 _Merlin was hardly able to focus on his lessons as his mind ran to the punishment he would have to endure. So the things got even worse as Lady was pretty disappointed of his results. He'd done his best to act perfectly, but her presence there had scared him to such a level that he felt unable to move or speak._

 _When she had important guests, he was usually sent to his room and he would served his dinner there. The Lady (that was how everybody addressed her and so Merlin never bothered to find her name; he and Morgause called her Lady Grumpy, of course, when she wasn't around) wouldn't like to have him there. Even when he dined with her, the boy had to be so quiet so she wouldn't notice his presence._

 _That night she had important guests. Merlin hoped she would forget about him, but he was so wrong. She locked him in the wing under the castle where the ancestors rested for the eternity. The High Priestess knew he was afraid of those dark statues and cold crypts, but she found such pleasure in torturing him. She hated his rebellious nature. He was supposed to obey unconditionally and that was exactly what he never did._

 _He would never forget that horrible night, the night when he acknowledged that no one would ever care for him. He missed his mum, he missed Morgause, but his mum was long gone and his dear adoptive sister was unable to help him._

 _Only a stray cat had dared to find shelter in such a morbid place due to the large number of mice and rats that wandered freely on the knights' ancient tombs._

 _He was hungry. Lady refused to give him any food. He would wait until morning. Maybe Morgause had saved something for him. With that hope and with the gratitude to have a living being around him - even if it was a poor, scared cat - he tried to fall asleep._

 _The wind was howling, awaking in the young boy's fantasy the image of evil monsters that were coming after him. He imagined that the statues got alive. He saw huge knights marching towards him with their swords ready to attack. Merlin had managed to find a old rusty sword and he was holding it tight while his hands trembled uncontrollably. It was also freezing cold down there. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't see the knights anymore and coiled in a ball to keep himself warm. If only it had worked._

* * *

 **Back to present**

The events of the day had taken her toll on Morgana and she couldn't fall asleep anymore. It wasn't like she could usually sleep, but this time she really wanted to stop thinking about that.

Not even the fact that Merlin would be punished brought her joy.

Eventually, she decided to go to Gaius in order to ask for some sleeping drugs. Secretly, the witch hoped to meet Merlin there, although she doubt he was still awake. Even though, she'd put her best gown and brushed her hair once more before she left the room.

She painted her lips scarlet. Scarlet always catch the eye and combined with her milky skin, it made her look dangerous and seducing at the same time. The witch added some drops of perfume so to be sure she would get his attention. It was quite impossible for him to fail noticing her presence.

The physician had already been snoring as she entered. The witch wake him up with a knock in the door and he hurried to serve her. He was a bit too prompt as Morgana wished to spend a bit more time in his chambers, hoping that Merlin would hear her voice and came out of his room. As Gaius had finished the sleeping drugs and she had no reason to stay, Morgana threw a question about Merlin. It was supposed to look like simple courtesy and so she gave her best not to look interested. And so, Gaius answered quite evasive.

As she didn't get what she wanted, Morgana was careful to drop one of Gaius' pots on the floor. Afterwards, she offered very kindly to help him clean the place. Yet Merlin didn't appear. Only after the witch added that she hopped that Merlin hadn't been awaken by the noise did she found that he wasn't there.

The problem was Morgana couldn't simply ask where he was without arising suspicions and she was forced to give up. She would ask Merlin next morning or maybe he would be late to attend Arthur and she would do her best to make sure Uther would find about it.

Yet Morgana couldn't go back to sleep. She'd made her mind that Merlin would see her and so he wouldn't get back to his chambers without meeting her "by mistake" of course. So she waited. But as she wanted to avoid meeting someone else in the castle she fixed that rendez-vous outside the castle, but close enough to make sure he wouldn't pass by without being noticed

However, the warlock had no intention to be back soon and it started to get boring. She cursed him in her mind.

Little did she know he'd been spying on her and he was quite amused by her childish attempt to besten him. It was a time when she'd used to have control over everything, but now the tables had turned; the stupid village boy was a trained warlock and warrior and also a grown-up man, used with ladies' games and plots. It was something he had to learn in order to survive. The night he'd spent down among the crypts had made him swear he would never feel vulnerable again. And he never had.

So, in just a fraction of second he summoned the rain, ruining her gown and her makeup and erasing the scent of roses from her skin and all those while he was warm and dry, in his chambers.

* * *

Morgause watched her sister from behind her adoptive brother's shoulder. Not even she could have had a better idea than that one. Maybe Merlin didn't need her help after all; still she'd promised and honestly she started to get curious about Morgana. Yet she couldn't help feeling nervous as she didn't know what she would say to her sister when they would be alone in Morgana's chambers Merlin had asked her to take her sister easily before she were to confront her. He was still a kid despite the appearances. Only him could still hope for a happy ending until the very end.

* * *

He greeted Morgana as she ran towards the entrance. Merlin was glad he mastered so well the travelling spells. Morgana's seducing arsenal was completely ruined and her dress was soaked with water while Merlin looked like a true lord dressed in a dark knightly attire, plus the confident air and his lord posture. She couldn't help wishing to reiterate that night, but she kept her thoughts in check.

"What do you want?" She threw at him as she felt fury bubbling inside her. The witch wanted to look like she had the control, but instead it was just a defensive move. Merlin smirked at her childish outburst. "I can't wait to see you tomorrow in the stocks." She was sure she'd wiped his smile with her words. After all, she was still the king's daughter and she let him see that. "I really want to see you're confident smile tomorrow, Emrys." The witch challenged him.

However, the warlock gave no importance to her words. If Morgana wished for a war she would have it. "And you'll see it." He promised. " Yet I fear you won't find me in the stocks." He smirked again and he went away leaving her completely alone.

* * *

Morgana wake up early in the morning, thrilled by the idea of Merlin being punished. She couldn't wait to throw him a rotten tomato on his face and wipe that stupid smile of his. She wanted to punch him until she would get tired of it. Stupid, stupid Merlin. He would pay for humiliating her last night. When she thought at his words, the witch felt all her blood boiling in her veins.

* * *

Gwen helped her prepare for the day as she'd used to do for so many times. Yet this time it felt really awkward. The day before, she'd been sick and so she was unable to come. Morgana knew it was a lie. However, Gwen couldn't use that excuse again. So, she came and tried to work as if nothing would have happened; as if the woman whom she was serving wouldn't have tried to kill her and her husband for so many times that she'd lost count.

Yet Morgana was in a good mood and so she just let Gwen be. Her hatred for Gwen could wait for a while; her main priority was Merlin at that moment. Though, the witch would have been grateful if somehow, by a miracle, her maid would have disappeared.

Morgana was almost ready when she heard someone knocking at her door and she saw the king entering in her room. The witch had to put a smile on and play the careful daughter while enduring his display of fatherly love towards her. Of course he wouldn't admit it.

"Your mother accused me of not fulfilling my role as a guest with this lovely girl you have become, so I decided to make it up for my error and give you a ture of the castle. You can ask, my dear child, anything you want." And Uther offered her his hand. The witch couldn't help wondering why her mother would ask something like that, except that it happened that Morgana was his daughter and well... Morgana hated that idea, but she couldn't refuse him.

Uther had never being much more boring that in that morning or maybe it was the fact she wanted to go to the stocks to see Merlin. Yet, the king had to describe her every single column the passed by in their little journey. Sometimes she wondered when had he learnt all those stories. Even for the king it was too much history and he had not the slightest problem in remembering data, places and facts.

However, the witch wasn't interested in those things. She tried her best to escape, but he always brought her back.

When he finally decided to put an end to their morning lesson of history, Morgana was forced to endure a very long breakfast in his company and so she couldn't run to the stocks.

Eventually, she couldn't resist anymore and asked about Merlin. To her surprise, the king had the slightest idea where he was.

"That boy is a lost cause." He uttered. " You can't find him not even when you want to punish him. If you would be kind and find him, I would be very greatful, Morgana. You are friends, aren't you?" He didn't wait for an answer "I can't waste my soldiers' time by asking them to find him, can I?" Morgana didn't know what to do, but to nod.

"He is with a girl." Arthur intervened. "I've seen them in the court early in the morning. I have the sligtest idea where they were going." The prince went on. Gwen tried her best not to burst into laughters while Morgana felt she had not enough air in her lungs.

"I think you should let them be, Uther." Gorlois intervened. "He's young and…" He said no more as his wife stoped him.

"Gorlois. There are young women around." Vivian uttered afraid of what the men might say.

"He hasn't intend to say anything unappropriate for the ladies." Uther tried to save the conversation. "Doesn't it, Gorlois? Anyway, I don't think it's a good idea to look for him, Morgana." And the men burst into laughters while the women, except Morgana, tried to conciled their laughters behind the glasses of wine. Morgana instead tried her best not to blow the room of.

"Is she jelous?" Gwen wispered in the prince's ear.

"Whatever she felt, Merlin is playing a very dangeous game. I hope he knows what he's doing." Upon saying that he threw a glance towards his father who, Arthur knew very well, wasn't his father. "I only hope my father is alright."

The prince remembered how his friend came to ask him to accept that stupid game. Arthur was greateful that he had convinced Merlin not to send Uther at the stocks, of course disguised as Merlin. That was the greatest victory the prince had been able to achive as the warlock had been decided not to give up his plan. And so, Uther was hidden somewhere in the castle (Merlin put a spell on the room so he wouldn't be found) and Merlin took his place and that because the warlock couldn't allow Morgana to win.

"He is completly mad." Arthur added for himself while Morgana was much more grumpy than a grumpy cat.

* * *

 **So, what you think about the way my story has taken? Have you expected something else? Something much better? What was it?**


	9. Family reunion

Family reunion

Yet Morgana did contrary to what Uther (she had the slightest idea he was Merlin) had told her to do; she was determined to find Merlin. Now more than ever the High Priestess wanted to threw rotten vegetables on his face and if she was completely honest she felt an itch to turn that stupid girl (whoever she might be) into a pumpkin and throw it into Merlin's face as well.

As she entered Gaius' chambers (why did she look for him there?), the witch spotted a blonde familiar face. It took her a moment to registered who she was as Morgana found it hard to believe her own eyes. Morgause. In just one moment her fury was gone and her face illuminated by joy.

Morgause noticed the sudden changes of Morgana's mood and she decided to act. Merlin had been right when he said Morgana loved her. This thought, however, made Morgause felt guilty for not loving Morgana too. Maybe, in time, she would learn to see her as a sister. And so, more than before, Morgause knew that she had a greater role than she'd expected.

"You must be Lady Morgana." Morgause spoke with a kindness she had never thought she would ever be able to display towards her sister. However, being face to face with her and realizing how fragile she was, in the elder sister's mind it became clear that Morgana wasn't blame for her parents' decisions. "I'm…"

"Morgause." Morgana couldn't hold back the desire to display her enthusiasm. "I know."

"I'm sorry that I don't share the same memories as you, but in time, I hope, we will manage to share such memories as the ones you have of me." The elder sister spoke and she took Morgana's hand in her own. Morgana smiled while a light sparked in her eyes. "Yet I'm not the same person you know." She wanted it to be clear. It was like Morgause wanted to settle the rules from the start. Her eyes eyes uttered: "will you love me even when I'm not going to agree with you." And that question met Morgana's confused glance.

Unaware of the connection between the two sisters, Gaius entered the room. He'd finished his morning's duties and he was retreating in his chambers for his everyday's studies of potions and concoctions.

"I was wondering, My Lady" Morgause addressed her, trying to justify her conversation with Morgana " as I've heard your maid is willing to give up her position, if, I may dare to ask for such a position, you would…" She tried to seem as humbled as possible and yet blunt enough to let Morgana know what she wanted.

"Of course you can." Morgana answered as quickly as she could, without even caring to hide the enthusiasm from her voice. "I mean" she added as felt both Gaius and Morgause's eyes on her "Gwen hasn't felt well lately and I think a replacer will sound great for her. I was even started to get worried as I can never deal without a maid. It's such a blessing that I've met you." Morgana played the role flawlessly as she had always done.

Morgause was tented to ruined her charade by throwing at her face Gwen was hardly sick, at least not physically, but she could said instead that Gwen was definitely sick of Morgana. However the blonde kept her mouth shut. Morgana had accepted her and it was, after all, what she'd wanted from the start.

* * *

As long as it was her wish, Morgana's parents had nothing to say against their daughter's decision. Uther, however, didn't seem happy (in fact Merlin was thrilled at his success, but he couldn't let Morgana know that her dear sister was definitely another person; he just hoped that Morgana would love her the same). He simply changed the topic by asking her whether she'd found Merlin. That idiot of Merlin wasn't going to allow her to be happy.

"Well then, Mor...gause" The pause between syllables had a very clear purpose as "Gause" was how he'd used to call her when being only a child and finding it difficult to speak some letters. Then it had turned into Gausy. The elder witch caught its meaning and smiled. "you would have a lot of work for tonight feast. I bet your Lady will wish to look stunning."

"I don't doubt that, Sire." She spoke loudly and bowed as any good servant would do in front of their suveran, but she didn't forget to add, magically speaking in his mind _" This "Sire" is going to cost you a lot, Merlin."_ It was mainly a joke as she didn't really found it difficult to bow in front of her foster brother, but she had to tease him somehow.

* * *

They were preparing for the feast (Morgana had insisted that Morgause should come too. She offered her one of her own dresses and her jewels. This time Morgana was confident that she could do anything she wanted as her father, Gorlois -of course- will support her no matter what, while Uther would have to endure her fancy ideas as she was his guest.) One dressed in emerald-green dress the other in a blue one; one raven hair, the other sunrays-gold hair; both gorgeous and emanating joy with every move they took.

Merlin had been right. Being in Morgana's company wasn't such a bad thing as Morgause would have expected. In fact, she liked her sister or at least the way she acted with her. It was clear Morgana loved her and Morgause wanted so badly to answer with the same passion too. It was stupid to hate her sister for something she wasn't responsible for.

However, the elder sister couldn't help studying Morgana and wondering what was that thing that had made their parents to offer the little Morgana all their love and leave nothing for her.

Lady Vivian entered the room and she stopped in the door, her eyes focused on the blonde. A bright smile appeared on her face while Morgause froze as she finally managed to connect the dots. She'd never seen her mother face to face, but as she looked her in the face, a long forgotten memory arose from the past.

* * *

 **14 years ago**

 _Morgause couldn't fall in sleep. She felt guilty and watching Merlin magnified the storm inside her. She'd promised to help his mother, but she'd failed. Morgause knew he wasn't sleeping either, but she simply didn't know what to do or say._

 _The plan had seemed alright. They'd managed to sneak out of the castle, use a traveling spell, sneak into Camelot's dungeons, get them out and run. But there'd been too many guards that night. It was like they'd been warned. However, they would have succeeded if Lady hadn't intervened and took them away, leaving Hunith and Balinor to fight the never ending wave of soldiers._

 _Eventually Merlin had managed to escape from her grab and knocked down the soldiers with his magic, but it was too late and Morgause had to take him home before other soldier would have come. The only thing she could do for him was to convince Lady to take his parents bodies with them. Surprisingly Lady obeyed._

 _As Morgause wandered on the corridors furious and with that strange sense of weakness - the day's events had really made her feel powerless- she heard voices coming from Lady's dining room. Morgause came close as a wave of curiosity strike her._

 _"You do well, Karla." She heard a woman speak and it wasn't Lady's voice. "I supposed the boy is heartbroken, isn't he?" The woman went on after a moment. Probably after Lady had nodded at her remark."All the better. He would have more reasons to hate Uther."_

 _"Yes, My Lady." It was quite surprising to hear Lady act so humblely. "I did what you said. I allowed the kids to run away and get to Camelot. Yet I think I understimated them. If I hadn't intervened, the kids would have succesfuly set the prisoners free."_

 _"Well, I've though Uther would have taken strong precautions after I'd warned him about the kid's plan. But you did a good job." The woman spoke hated that she couldn't see her face._

 _"Thank you, My Lady. May I dare to ask you how you knew that Uther would kill them?"_

 _"I've been around for a while. I could have swore with my life he would order to be killed as soon as he were to find they were trying to escape. And if he wouldn't, I was around, Karla. They must hate Uther; they must see him as the tyran he is and when they will be ready they will help me take his throne and turn my dear baby into a queen."_

* * *

 **Back to present**

Morgause had only seen a glance of that cruel lady as she passed by the colum behind which the young Morgause was hidden, but she had never forgotten that face, that posture.

"Morgause" The woman in front of her uttered surprised. Morgause answered with a cold glance.

"It's Mama." Morgana spoke, her voice so full of entusiasm. "Our mother, Morgause." Lady Vivian looked her younger daughter, surprise written on her face.

"Your mother, Morgana. I am just a means to her ends. In fact, what matters is that you dear baby become queen." Morgause threw at her mother. "All I wanted was to help him save his parents. He was my friend. The only person that has really loved me." t took Lady Vivian a while to got the meaning of those words, but eventually she realized that her daughter knew a bit more than her mother would have wanted to.

"I made sure you would be taken care of. He was just a boy, Morgause. We needed to gain him on our side. Plus, it was Uther who gave the order."

"But you would have made sure he would give that order. I spent whole my life trying to understand what makes Morgana so special for you while I had to deal with the idea that my parents will never love me. That's whole I wanted, you to love me. But of course, I'm not the king's daughter."

Morgana watched in shock as the two women she loved were debating her own destiny. How makes she hadn't had the slightest idea? And was her sister really hating? It wasn't her fault that she was Uther daughter. In fact, the witch didn't want that.

"Morgause, she's your sister." Lady Vivian shouted at her. "It's only that villiage boy's fault that you became so disobedient and stubborn. After everything I've done for you. Was there something you want for and you never had? I made sure you would be treated like a lady."

"But it wasn't what I wanted." Morgause shouted back.

"That's all I could offer and I won't allow you to be ungrateful."

"Goodbye, Mama. I'm not your puppet."

And she tried to open the door to go away. She was decided to never come back. But Lady Vivian shut it back.

"You haven't done with me. I won't allow you to ruin my plans my daughter or not." But she hadn't finished her speech as the door opened and Merlin stepped inside. Morgause had to keep down the pang of shame as she had to admit that she was saved by her young foster brother.

"The only thing she owes you is the gold you've paid Lady Karla for what you call "taking care of your daughter"." Merlin spoke and although he was telling the truth, Lady Vivian ignored him as if he hadn't mattered. "If wealth is what you're looking for" The warlock went on "then may you be blessed that everything you touch should turn into gold."

As he finished the sentence, his eyes glowed gold and in just an instant the cloths she was wearing, the shoes and the floor under her feet turned into pure gold. And the weight of her own cloths dragged her down on her kneels while desperation started to grow inside her. Morgause threw a last glance and left the room together with her foster brother.


	10. Playing with fire

Playing with fire

To say that Morgana was furious on Merlin would be little compared with what she felt. She tried each spell she knew in order to break the spell, but there was no way for a cure and the worst was Lady Vivien was able no even to eat or drink water and so she suffered from thirst and hunger.

Morgause had no intention to help. She just added that Lady Vivien deserved that and even more. Morgana begged her, cried, told her that she could not imagine losing her mother again, promised to do everything she wanted. Eventually, her elder sister adviced her to speak with Merlin at the feast. "Be nice, though." Her sister added "Do not forget that he is the one who can break the spell."

She refused to tell her more. Deep down Morgause knew that Merlin would break the curse eventually. He was just too kind to watch someone's grif. Plus he had a weak spot for Morgana. However, her upish sister shouldn't know that.

* * *

The feast was perfectly organized and the king seemed to enjoy it. He shared wits and jokes with courtiers and dance with the beautiful ladies of the court. It came as a surprise as no one had ever seen him dance or being so generous and charming and yet mannered enough to inspire respect and superiority towards his guests.

Morgana tried her best to catch the eye of the man who hold the happiness of the people she loved in his own hands. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, the witch needed his help and her only weapon in that stupid war with Merlin was her beauty.

But he wasn't there or he was hard to notice. Anyway she didn't see him. Yet she tried to enjoy the feast or at least to pretend that. So she flated, shared smiles, laughed and chatted a lot, but she did all those only for him to see; to see what he was losing.

What was she thinking? Merlin had never had her, so how could he lose something he never had?!

Not even the king could resist her charm and invited her to dance. She was lost. The witch had the slightest idea how to dance. It was something she'd never been good at. She had handled it with her father's lords, but the king was simply too good at it. It came as a surprise, though, as Uther had never given importance to dance and so that, there were very few who were really good at it. But that was a good thing as she wouldn't feel like she had two left feet.

After she'd trampled on the king's feet for the umpteenth time, the witch really wished to disappear in thin air. But Uther kept smiling and encouraging her. Patiently, he explained her the steps over and over again and congratulated her as she started to get the move. It still felt uncomfortable, but it was better.

"Do you find Merlin?" The supposed king asked her in order to change the topic. It was supposed to relax her a bit or at least to distract her attention from the dance as her body was pretty tense. Morgause had warned Merlin that Morgana wanted to find him and no matter how much she deserved to be tortured, the warlock couldn't help feeling sorry for her.

It was clear that Lady Vivien would learn nothing from her punishment, but killing her would bring nothing good as knew very well what meant to lose a mother and he would be an hypocrite if he wished that for someone else. As long as there was another way, murder wasn't a solution. However, the warlock wanted Morgana to begged him to break the spell. Selfish as it was he wanted her to watch him in the eye and ask him.

"No". The witch answered a few moments later "and I have a feeling he won't come here. Have you find him?" She enquired as hope started to sneak in her heart.

"I do." He answered while a smile appeared on his face. It was a sense of superiority in that smile and the witch didn't like it. "You have always missed to notice the trees because of the forest, Morgana" the king went on.

"I've always been here, Morgana." She heard a voice in her head and she watched the king in the face. "It not so hard to explain the inexplicable, my dear." He went aloud this time and he confirmed her suspicions with a nod. "I've always been here, Morgana."

The High Priestess couldn't held back the fury she felt boiling inside and so she ran away for fear she might ruined her plans with a harsh word. She had to help her mother no matter what. Even if she would have to allow him to humiliate her.

She drank a glass of wine hoping that it would make her cheerful. But instead it made her melancholical. Too melancholical, in fact. She kept watching him while memories that she'd thought long forgotten came in her mind. She watched as he was teaching other women to dance. Morgana wished he'd done that only for her. She took another glass as she felt tears on her cheeks; and another; until she didn't care that she couldn't walk properly anymore.

When Merlin scolded her for drinking too much she answered with a smile. The witch was finally starting to enjoy the feast. She even found it funny to imagine Merlin with that pinky flamingo who was Lady Lavinia. "Isn't she a bit too old for you?" The witch whispered in his ear as she stole another glass of wine from his hand.

Morgana was happy that her father wasn't there to see her. Gorlois had decided to stay with Lady Vivien until they would find a cure. She really didn't want for him to see her like that.

Eventually, Merlin sent her to her chambers and asked Morgause to escort her. However, Morgana assured her sister that she was alright and dismissed her before they arrived to Morgana's chambers. The witch had other plans after all.

She sneaked out from the royal quarters and climbed down to the physician's chambers. She tip-toed as quiet as a shadow so she wouldn't be heard. Gaius was still at the feast, but she couldn't be sure, though. And she entered Merlin's room. The witch plunged in the warlock's bed and she waited there quietly for him to come.

It lasted a while as the warlock had many things to "mend" before he returned to his chambers. Bringing Uther back was just one of the many things he had on his schedule.

* * *

It should have been easy this time as it had been so many times before. Uther would believe the crazy story Merlin would invent; he might ordered an execution or two, but none can execute someone who isn't present; and everything would come back to normal. But by who-knows what prank of the Lady Fortuna, the king proved to finally understood the role of his two eyes and two ears the nature had given to him.

"I know what you did." the king interrupted Merlin as the servant tried to explain the past events. "I've followed you to that room." the king added as the warlock's face was proof enough that he hadn't been understood. "Is it true what Arthur said at the dinner? About Morgana? about future?" The warlock was flabbergasted. "Why do I feel like I've lived two lives? Why have things happened differently this time?"

"Small changes can alter the future." The warlock answered with a patience he didn't know he was capable of. "And yes, everything was true and this is not going to change as long as you keep going the same way."

"Why should I trust a sorcerer?" Uther threw at the warlock in front of him.

"That's something you should ask yourself. If you hadn't trust "a sorcerer", you wouldn't have had this conversation with that "sorcerer". Merlin remarked. "Plus, this "sorcerer" isn't just a sorcerer; he has the power to change future and I doubt you really want to cross him, king or not. This sorcerer could have turned your kingdom into ashes and you, Uther Pendragon, couldn't have done a thing to change it. So, tell me, Sire, why should you trust a sorcerer?"

"I won't allow Camelot to fall." He tried to look royal, but in front of the warlock he felt more like a young boy.

"And I make sure it won't. Arthur will bring peace. Do not force him to choose. You've had your turn, now it's time for a change."

"But everything I've built…."

"Will come to pieces anyway. Now it's your choice whether you go with dignity or you are usurped as a tyran. Trust your son for only he can bring the world we all wish for. " Upon saying that the warlock disappear, allowing the king the space to think everything carefully. Merlin knew that Arthur still had a long way to being as he'd described him, but the warlock knew that as long they would stay united they would be unbreakable.

* * *

Merlin entered his room, unaware of his new guest. He didn't lit the candles as he'd already learnt every corner of his room and at that moment he felt that he needed a bit of darkness.

There were so many things spinning in his head such as what he should do to gain Morgana at their side. Playing with her was like playing with an untamed panthera. She was fascinating, wild, beautiful and so unpredictable.

The warlock started to undress while he was forcing his mind to bring him those answers. If he were to gain Morgana's sympathy for their cause, then neither Uther nor Lady Vivien would be a problem. It seemed that the witch was the key to everything, but that "key" had such a great will that the warlock was sure that battle would be a difficult one to fight. Yet, it was that great will of his former friend that he needed the most and it had to be intact otherwise it was useless.

He had hardly lain down on the bed when he felt something tickling his face and he opened his eyes only to see Morgana giggle. She'd left her hair loose and she was tickling him with it.

"Morgana!. What you're doing here?" He asked as he turned to a most comfortable position where he could see her face. The witch continued to gingle and then she hiccupped and giggled again.

"You looked so funny." She added between laughter.

"You should go to sleep." It wasn't a suggestion and his firm tone made it clear.

"So grumpy...Why are you so serious?" She said on a playful tone while she dragged him back to bed as he'd pushed the blanket aside and rose at his feet. She pulled him back and then landed on his chest. "Don't go." The witch begged. She'd drunk a lot, but it made her feel happy, at least for the moment. She burst into laughed as she saw his expression. In fact, it was nothing funny about it. Merlin was maybe a bit too serious and she found it hilarious.

He gently moved a lock of hair from her face as the witch had risen up her head and was now looking at him from above.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered while caressing her face. She put her head on his chest and drew circles with the top of her fingers on his skin.

"Will you remove my mother's curse?" She asked after a moment of deep silence. She wasn't begging. She was simply asking like a little girl would when she wants a new dress. And she lifted her head and watched him with bright eyes. Then she put her arms over his neck and come with her face close to his, her lips almost touching his. She smiled as she noticed the smile on his face and let her lips fall over his. It didn't last long as he came back from his revery and acknowledged their state.

"You've drunk a lot, Morgana. I don't want to take advantage of you." He answered and pull the sleeve of her dress back to her shoulder.

" And I wouldn't let you. Anyway, your loss." She uttered and she plonged in his pillows where she fell asleep pretty soon.


	11. Dear mummy

Dear mummy

Merlin wake up as he felt something tickling him. The events of the day had their toll on him and he'd fallen asleep despite the multitude of problem that had been running on his mind. Morgana had cuddled on him, making him feel warm. The warmth of her body and the sweet sound of her breath had been the best sleeping drug he could have ever imagined.

It was still night and the warlock decided to take the lady to her room. He put his shirt on and then wrapping her in her cloak so she would be hidden for any indiscret glance, Merlin headed for Morgana's chambers.

As soon he entered there, the warlock was welcomed by the furious glance of lady Vivien. He gently put Morgana down on the bed, covered her with the blanket, then came to face the lady. All that time, lady Vivien had never stopped watching him.

"You're going to stay away from my daughter." The lady uttered firmly. Yet it didn't impress the warlock.

"I would" he said "but she won't stay away from me." Merlin added firmly. Well, it wasn't a lie after all, although the warlock hadn't done anything to stop her. In fact, he'd encouraged her.

"And you will break the enchantment." Lady Vivien demanded.

"Why should I?" Merlin had intended to break that enchantment, but he hated to be ordered like that. Lady Vivien really didn't know to ask.

"Because I said so." He turned around to face the woman who uttered that words although he knew pretty well that voice.

"Lady Kara." He spoke. It was really a surprise for the warlock. Obviously. Lady Vivien had asked for her help. Merlin scolded himself for that not having crossed his mind before.

Lady Vivien had asked Gorlois to write and send a letter for her. She dictated the message: "Please, come as quickly you can." and then she sent her husband to find the one to take the message to lady Kara. He was one of the soldiers from Camelot, a sorcerer in disguise, who was working for Lady Vivien. Lord Gorlois had just to tell him who to deliver those lines and the soldier knew exactly what he had to do.

"This will have consequences, Merlin. So better break that stupid spell." Lady Kara ordered. Well, he'd got used with her threats and stupid demand and he knew pretty well she was cruel enough to plot the worst things human mind could imagine. Yet he wasn't the young boy anymore. He was a powerful warlock now and he was sick of listening to her. It was clear she hadn't managed to break the spell, so why should he be afraid of?

"Why don't you break it yourself?" Her former ward challenged her.

"Because you'll do it, Merlin. How are you going to explain your dear "Sis" that the boy she had affection for had died because you, being as stubborn and stupid as you are, decided to challenge me? Break the spell. And now." Merlin threw her a furious glance, but said no more words. He wasn't going to risk Morgause happiness just for the pleasure of defeating Kara. He uttered the words and soon Lady Vivien was able to touch everything without being afraid it would turn into gold.

Lady Kara chanted some words and then something fell down. Merlin could see it was a body.

"I warned you there would be consequences." Lady Kara had said before vanishing in a cloud of dust. The warlock hurried to help the boy, but it was too late. None of his spells would help him now and he didn't know how to explain Morgause. It was his fault. Why had he been so proud? He wouldn't be able to bear Morgause pain.

"Are you aware you lost your daughter for ever?" He shouted at Lady Vivien.

"He wasn't suit for her." She answered indifferently. Then she rushed to Morgana's bed as Merlin's high tone had woken her. She took her dear daughter in her arms and tried to comforted her while Merlin took the boy's body out of the room.

"What had happened?" Morgana asked as Merlin shut the door behind him and he wasn't quite discreet while doing it.

"The spell is broken" Her mother said and she hugged her even tighter. "Everything will be alright, my dear." Lady Vivien felt tears in her eyes as she watched her dear daughter's confused expression."I love you, Morgana and I will never allow any harm to come to you. I promise. Does he hurt him?"

Morgana wanted to say no, but there was that evil voice inside of her which told her it was her chance to have revenge and so the witch nodded.

"He will pay." Her mother declared and she stood up instantly, took her cloak and headed towards the door.

"Please, do not let him know I've told you. He's….too strong. I don't think Uther can…" Her mother stood for a moment then she sat down again near to her daughter.

"You're right. But do not worry. No one is truthly unbreakable."

"It's alright, Mum. I need some time alone, please." She dismissed her mother, but not without giving her a last smile. Lady Vivien watched her carefully for a while then she kissed her forehead, stood up and left the room.

Morgana let her body sink in the pillows. She remembered how good she felt in Merlin's arms and she already missed him. The witch couldn't hold back a smile as she imagined him kissing her. Yet it couldn't be. He was her enemy and she wanted him to suffer. No, she didn't want him to suffer, but she had to remove him from her life before it would be too late. "Damn, Merlin". She wasn't going to fall asleep again.

* * *

Merlin helped Morgause to prepare Aran's funerals. They took his body to Lake Avalon, put it on a boat and setted it afire while Morgause tried her best to hold back her tears. They didn't have much time for mourning as both of them knew Lady Kara pretty well and they just had a feeling Lady Vivien was worse.


	12. Where loyalties lie

**Merry Christmas! It is h** **ardly a Christmas story, though I hope you like it.**

Where loyalties lie

Morgana hadn't expected to find her sister there when she woke up and least of all to see Morgause was getting well with their mother. Yet she was happy that things had ended that way.

"I've realized that I said things I should have never told." Morgause noticed the surprise on Morgana's face and felt the need to explain "I was just jealous you've got everything I hadn't and well... I didn't mean to…"

"It's alright." Lady Vivien stopped her."It's good you've seen your errors and that you've to be on our side. Isn't it, Morgana?"

The witch jumped from her bed and wordlessly she embraced her sister. Her happiness was genuine and Morgana didn't bother to hide it.

"Morgause has even offered to help us deal with Merlin, hasn't you, Morgause?" The blonde was a bit taken by surprised, yet she quickly gained her posture and answered on the coldest tone she could master.

"Yeah. I should have never chosen him above my family. Yet the boy still thinks I'm on his side."

"I doubt that." Morgana muttered. The two women watched her surprised. "I doubt he trusted you and I strongly doubt you will be able to foul him."

"Do not worry, sister. I will play my role wonderfully." Morgause answered. It was such determination in her voice and even hatred. Morgana couldn't help wondering what the warlock had done to her sister so she would hate him like that. In vain tried Morgause to change the topic by asking Morgana what she wanted to wear, her sister kept attacking her with different questions so she would find Morgause's reason for hating Merlin so much.

What surprised Morgana was that she didn't enjoy the situation. Well, she wanted Morgause at her side and Merlin kind of deserve being taught a lesson, but still she didn't like it. She spent whole morning telling Morgause what an idiot Merlin was and yet she didn't mean it. Not at all. Plus her mother kept talking about how great the world would be when she was to be queen. And her head was just too heavy.

Despite of those things, Morgana was stunning as she crossed the dining-room and sat next to Uther. He had always reserved the place next to him for her. Now more than ever he was very careful to make her feel well. That attention drove her nuts. Lady Vivien smiled in order to calm her daughter and it eventually worked.

Morgause and Merlin tried their best to make their masters happy. At least it was what any stranger would have said if he had seen them working around.

As the feast was over and Morgana stood up ready to leave, Morgause couldn't help, but threw the tray with dirty dishes in Merlin's arms. The servant hardly managed to caught them, but he said nothing as Morgause disappeared, following her lady.

* * *

"He will suspect you." Morgana threw at her as they were alone in her room. "You shouldn't have act like, Morgause." Morgana couldn't believe that she was actually scolding her sister for playing badly her role.

"I will look for him and apologise. Is it fine?" Morgause answered to her sister's reproches. "I will tell him I was in a hurry and believe me, Merlin could be very blind when it comes about people he cares about."

"Well, he definitely doesn't care for you, Morgause?" Morgana added and then she sat in front of the mirror.

"Why would you say that?" Morgause asked and Morgana could easily see that she had reached a weak spot.

"Why would you think he cares for you?" Her sister's reaction had made Morgana suspicious and in just a few seconds thousands of scenarios were rolling in the witch's mind. "What was between you two?"

"Well, Merlin used to love me..as a brother, of course. He still does. I don't know what this other world you've lived in was, this one is quite different. Everything is different - your life, mine, Merlin's. I've got a brother, Morgana and he gave me the love I never had the chance to have in the other world and I guess it made me see things in another colour." There was a kindness in the way Morgause spoke, Morgana had never got used to hear her sister speak about anyone else but Morgana herself. She couldn't help feeling jealous at the thought she would have to share her sister's love with someone else and someone who wasn't family. "But I've realized that family is much more important" Morgause added with a big smile on her face. "You are my family. I should have never went like that with my mother for a stupid peasant boy."

"That boy you think mother…" Morgana couldn't go on as Morgause stopped her.

"That boy?"

" Well, it wasn't mother's fault. Look, I know Uther pretty well. She couldn't have done anything."

"Have she told you that?" Morgause asked trying to control her emotions. She knew pretty well where the truth lay.

"No, but I don't need to ask. How could you think mother would do something like that? I know you are furious she did nothing to change Uther's mind, but there was nothing she could do. Trust me." Morgause turned around and went towards the window where she stopped. She watched outside as people came and go. It was clear for Morgana that her sister didn't agree with her.

"You don't have idea how much I wanted to have my parents back, but… I don't want my mother to be like that. Can you understand? She was supposed to be kind. She was supposed to do the right thing. It isn't right. And even if she did what you think I can't hate her. When I saw her suffering because of Merlin's spell, I knew I would do anything to see her well again. Even if I know she did what you said." Morgause listened quietly to what Morgana was saying. She was surprised to find her sister didn't know who that boy was and she was surprised to see how much Morgana loved her mother. "How do you managed to forgive mother if you believe she...? Well, you know?" That question complicated everything. What was Morgause supposed to answer?

"She's my mother and well, I guess that blood is stronger than anything, isn't it? And I guess I needed a mother."

Morgana didn't get time to answer as they were disturbed by a knocked at the door as a lad carrying a lovely bouquet of roses entered the room.

Morgause took the bouquet and put it on a vase near to the mirror.

"There is a note." Morgause said and she handed it to Morgana. The brunette opened it and soon she bursted into laughter.

"It's a child's drawing. Look." Morgana uttered and she handed the letter to her sister. Morgause took the paper and studied it for a while. Then she smiled as she threw the paper away.


	13. The deal

**May that this year bring you everything you wished for. Happy New Year.**

* * *

The deal

They had a plan. Well, Uther had a plan.

He soon made it clear that he would never admit having been wrong about magic, yet he admitted Merlin was right. Uther was pretty aware that he had no chance against magic, at least not without Merlin's help. But Merlin would never accept to stay quiet and neither would Morgana. And when it came about Morgana things got even more complicated. The king loved her and he would do anything for her; anything but sacrificing Arthur and maybe his own vanity. And so he offered a deal.

"You want to keep your people safe, don't you?" The king added confident he'd got the warlock's attention. "I want to maintain appearances."

"Yeah." Merlin muttered still confused. He had the slightest idea where Uther was heading to.

"So, you take all magic being out of my land, have your own land; I will look great as I will have managed to eradicate magic; everybody is happy." He presented his plan. Merlin encouraged him to go on as he wanted to know more. Maybe, they would manage to set a deal, after all.

Uther promised not to disturb them. More he promised to show a blind eye when Merlin were to try to save any magic being as long as no one were not to find out. He would also offered all the spell books and the things from the vaults and were Merlin to go to the Island of the Blessed and built there a country of his own.

"That is all?! You simply want to help

me build a magic land so I won't try to turn your country into a magic one?!"Merlin cried, sure it was more than that.

"Well, I want to avoid a war between Arthur and Morgana. You said she wants to be free. You will offer her freedom, but far away from Arthur. And no, it won't come without a price. You have to swear she would have anything and anything at all, of what she wishes; that she would be happy."

"And how am I supposed to convince her to give up the throne." Merlin asked.

"Well, I've tried to speak with Vivien and that is really a problem. She is not willing to give up. So, I honestly don't know." It didn't look quite encouraging. Uther had a plan. It might work, but Morgana ?!.. She was more stubborn than a donkey. "There is something I want you to see." The king spoke. "Maybe, it will help you find a solution. Or at least to want to try."

The king took him underground the castle. He said no word despite the warlock's attempt to get any answer. Soon they stopped in front of a tomb. Merlin removed the stone that cover it only to find the last thing he'd never thought he would find - dragon's eggs.

"Do you like them?" The king asked guessing the fascination they must have casted over the warlock. "There has hardly ever been my job to find solutions, Merlin. I offer the means, you find the way out. That is how it works." The king left allowing Merlin some time alone. It was madness to put his trust in that boy, but even Uther could realize that Camelot would have long fallen without that boy. And there was Morgana.

Uther didn't want to sacrifice either of his children. Maybe, Merlin would be able to find a way, after all. As blind as he might look to the rest of the world, Uther could see clear that Merlin had a thing for Morgana while he was loyal to Arthur. Which meant Melin wouldn't be able to choose sides. As he wouldn't be able to choose sides, he would have to find solutions.

* * *

Morgana stretched playfully as she woke up. The sun was shining, the day seemed perfect, there was no reason for her to feel sad. At least, there hadn't been until Merlin came to ask for her help to built that "stupid kingdom of his".

He was all smiles and nice words. He was really thrilled as he exposed his deal with Uther.

Well, it was very cowardly for the king to run from the responsibility to face his own mistakes, but at least he'd offered them an alternative and Merlin wanted her to know her father was willing to support them. Under his terms, of course. The result wasn't the one he'd expected. Actually, it was as he'd expected, but not as he'd hoped to be. Morgana wasn't willing to give up her revenge on Uther.

It was shocking for Morgana. That deal proved she'd been wrong and there could be another way. It wasn't perfect, but…. Yet she couldn't admit it not even to herself. So she did her best to find flows of that deal including that it might be a trap. However, Merlin was pretty sure it wasn't.

On the other hand, no matter how tempting the idea of being part of this was, Morgana couldn't forgive Merlin even if she wanted that deep down. It was that cruel part of her that wanted him to suffer.

"Why should I be surprised?" She hissed at him. "You've always sided with the enemy, Merlin. You've always been so stupid." The witch was confident that she had the upper hand in that conversation and she turned him her back so she would puffed a bit of perfume on her hair. She checked every gesture so she would be the sexy badass witch who had everyone she wanted wrapped around her finger. Except Merlin. Still he wasn't completely out of her spell. "Of course I don't want to be part of it. I'm not that stupid." She spilt at him. The witch knew she would feel bad for it later. She wanted to go. She really did. The witch already imagined how would it be to be surrounded by baby dragons, trying to speak their first worlds. Yet she wanted for him to insist and Merlin was just too naive to make a fuss of her words. He would beg her. He would give her arguments. He wouldn't give even realizing a victorious smirk appeared on her face as she imagined Merlin being under her spell. Merlin watched her for a while then he spoke.

"Well, I've stopped defining you as a enemy for a while, but if you say so I can go back to the old games. However, I wasn't siding with you. I've never had. And you hated me because I didn't, didn't you? I was just trying to make you side with me. Not so stupid, have I?" Morgana hated when he was just so confident. Old Merlin was easier to play with. This one was far to sly.

"I wasn't speaking about me?" She threw at him. Not that he hadn't known it, which of course was too obvious.

No matter how much he wanted to hope he would have everything he wanted, the warlock realized it was time for him to put an end to any attempt to save the situation. He was sick of it. Sick of hoping. Sick of fighting a lost battle. Of trying to achieve the impossible.

"You were the only enemy I was willing to strike a compromise for." He wasn't joking this time. In fact, she could read in his voice that it brought him pain. He left without saying another word. For a while she watched the closed door hoping for him to return and begged her to come with him. He didn't. Merlin was right. Striking compromises wasn't in his nature. So she went after him. He would listen to her, willingly or not.

* * *

Merlin was in his room, packing the eggs and some of his things. Morgana knew she should start with a nice remark or something, but it wasn't in her nature either.

"What about Uther?"She asked. "Isn't he your enemy?"

"But Arthur is my friend. This is a compromise I've done for a friend. And I've done it for the best of the kingdom and to prove the world that we can be better than they were when they asked for our heads. But what good could be achieved by striking a deal with you? I guess it was a lost battle from the very beginning. Now, if you don't mind I have work to do. Do not lose your time with a stupid, My Lady."

"But…" She muttered unable to voice her thought.

"You've changed your mind?! Bad for you because I don't want you anymore." And he left. He left her alone again and not even bother to look back.

* * *

 **Before they went to the past**

Merlin crossed the huge corridors of the castle accompanied by a cloaked figure. Obviously, they got the attention of Gwaine who was heading towards Arthur's chambers together with the rest of the knights.

"It's a friend from Ealdor" Merlin answered before the knight had time to asked him. "He doesn't feel comfortable to be seen by other." The warlock answered to the next obvious question.

They weren't content about the intruder, but soon they forgot about him as they found themselves caught in the middle of things they couldn't understand and the cloaked figure kept being so quiet that one could hardly notice it.

* * *

 **present**

"Mithian!" Merlin cried happy as his old friend stopped her horse near to him. Merlin hurry to help her climb down. It had been a while since he hadn't seen her. They'd been writing each other since she'd first written her to invite the princes to join him to the past and she'd accepted and now they decided to finally meet especially that he needed her help to build that new world and he couldn't think anyone else much capable than her. "I've missed you."

"It's good to see you, Merlin." The princes answered to his outburst of happiness. He'd been telling her everything about his new life and his problems. He'd even entrusted the knights to her care. "I'm happy you haven't forgotten your old friend."

"How could I? By the way, you look amazing. It seems this new life suits you quite well." He complimented her. She smiled.

They spent a lot of time talking and joking; remembering the past and guessing the future. The warlock took her to the island and presented her his new friends. Mithian spoke kindly to everybody, laughed with them and encouraged the young sorcerers to display their magic in front of her. She even caressed a baby dragon Merlin put in her lap (Merlin couldn't help conjuring a dragon out from the egg.)

"Will you marry me?" He asked out of the blue as he noticed how happy she was in the middle of a ruined castle, caressing a dragon and not being afraid of getting dirty or being treated as an equal by simple peasant. She watched him confused. "Has she heard it right?"

"Will you marry me?" He asked again, this time he knelt in front of her and pull out a ring he'd conjured with magic. The princes answered with a smile as he waited there breathless. She could felt tears of joy on her eyes while her voice trembled for the emotions that surprise, that happiness had caused her.

Everything was like a lovely fairytale; he pressing the ring on her finger and smiling at her as he left a butterfly escape his hands, his amazing, dizzying kiss, their happiness.


	14. Whatever

Whatever

"You did what?" Morgause cried as he'd told her about his engagement with princess Mithian. "But you love Morgana" she added after a while. Merlin might be sometimes confusing, but that decision was really more than just confusing. Morgause couldn't help wondering what was in his head.

"Maybe. I guess I will always love her, but I prefer to stop before this love will turn into hatred. I can't be what she wants me to be. She can't be what I need her to be. When old I want to remember her as the love of my life rather than, after a miserable life together, to end up forgetting that we used to love each other."

"Merlin." She whispered kindly. She hadn't expect him to think like that. "Do you really love her, don't you?" He didn't answer, instead he went on explaining his decision.

"Mithian is a good friend. I'm not in love with her, but I like her." It was the truth. The princess had fascinated him from the first moment he'd seen her. She was beautiful and wise. It had been such a pity, Arthur's heart had belong to another otherwise Merlin would have strongly advised Arthur to marry Mithian. She would have made a good queen " I haven't intended in proposing her, but… I will rule over a country and I can't do it alone. When I saw how wonderfully she deals with people, I've realized she could be a great support. Plus, she's the daughter of a king. This will help me gain the recognition of other kingdoms and the support I'm going to need to build that land."

"Morgana used to deal well with people and she has a lot of influence, too." Morgause tried to change his mind. She didn't know why she'd suddenly got so keen to support her sister. Plus his arguments didn't seem to justify Mithian's superiority in regard to Morgana.

"You don't get." He cried furious that she didn't understand him. "She's not willing to sacrifice anything neither for me nor for the kingdom. I can't allow myself the luxury of having a queen who would argue with me for the sake of arguing. My people won't accept such a queen. Everything that I might have done as a servant is unattainable for the king." Merlin ended with a pang of melancholy in his voice. He'd always thought it was the other way round and being king would give him the liberty to do everything. In fact, there was too little liberty in sitting on a throne.

"So you prefer a lenient girl who will accept any stupidity crosses your mind." Her tone was high now. She really couldn't understand him.

"So, you don't trust me?" He joked, but she was too furious to see it was merely a joke.

"I do, but…."

"I'm sure Mithian will confront me whenever I would be wrong. She's very wise and fair." There was a lot of admiration in the way he spoke about her than even Morgause had to surrender. "What I want is not someone to agree with me, but to be by my side even when I'm making errors. Someone to scold me, but to trust me no matter what. Mithian will do that. As king I can't take risks. Plus, Morgana refused me. I wanted to propose her...on the island. I even learnt how to conjure a ring from thin air. I wanted it to be fit for a queen. I thought she would like it.I knew how much she loved Aithusa and I was intending to summon her from the egg while Morgana would be there to see the little dragoness' first steps. I even intended to ask Aithusa to deliver Morgana the ring, but...When I left Morgana's chambers I realized this would never happen. Yet I wasn't going to cry over things that will never be." Morgause said nothing. What was she supposed to say? That Morgana was the greatest idiot she'd ever met? Maybe Merlin was right and Morgana didn't love him. Maybe she would have married him for the throne, but he wouldn't have been happy. " Yet I need to convince Morgana to come there." He went on after a while. Now adopting his business tone. "That was what Uther asked in order to strike that deal."

"I will try. Yet you need to ask her again. Come a bit later at her chambers." She said and left without saying more. He was right, but she wanted him to be happy and she couldn't understand how Merlin could be happy loving a woman he would never be able to have and yet being forced to see every day. Maybe the responsibility of the throne was too much for him. Yet none could do it better.

"What if you were to fall in love and you would be married with that Mithian?" She threw at him before she left the room as it suddenly crossed her mind. "Please, Merlin, think it carefully."

"If I've promised to marry Mithian than I will marry her. There's nothing to think about. And I'm not going to fall in love. Believe me. I've tried for such a long time to forget Morgana and it hasn't work." Although it was sad, he smiled to his only sister in everything but blood. Morgause nodded and left the room. Be what will be.

"One more thing." Morgause turned back after a while. "Will you promise me something?"

"Anything." He answered with such easiness that Morgause felt sorry for asking him what she was going to.

"Do not forget you gave your word." She sealed his promise. "If I manage to convince Morgana to go to the island, will you promise to speak with Uther to ban Lady Vivien to Eira. If she thinks I had a wonderfully childhood there, I wish her the same."

"Morgause. This isn't you?" He uttered shocked of her vindictive plan and of the fact that he'd agreed to it. Maybe more of the fact that she'd involved him in that plan, although he knew Vivien deserved it and more. Yet there was Morgana and he felt it was wrong. However he'd promised.

"Why are you surprised? After all, you were the one who ask me play the loving daughter with lady Vivien in order to thwart her plans. I guess I want more than prevent her doing more evil. Is it wrong to want a bit of revenge? Plus, this is less than she deserves. I was wrong thinking Kara was a monster. She was simply obeying Vivien's orders. Do not worry Morgana. She trusts me. I will convince her to stay still. Probably she will hate Uther, but she already does so…"

"But you will allow Morgana to visit her." He tried to negotiate. He couldn't deny he played a great leading her to that way, but he really wanted that her love for her sister not to be a part of that charade he'd dragged her in.

"Are you mad? Do you want them to plot against Camelot or you?" She threw at him. His kindness was really killing her. She found it harder and harder to understand him.

"That is why you are going to go with her. Without my consent, obvious." He calmed her. He was more sly than she'd ever thought after all.

"Complicated boy" she thought.

"So we won't be able to stay longer …" She went as sly as him.

"I guess you won't. Are you happy?" Maybe he wasn't happy, but Morgause didn't regret it.

"Yes, I am, Merlin."

* * *

Morgause had almost arrived to her sister's chambers when she heard a voice calling her name from behind. She turned only to face a lovely, brunette lady. The lady answered with a smile. Her firm posture and the confidence her gestures expressed, pointed out to Morgause that the stranger wasn't an ordinary girl even if she wa dressed as one.

"I hope we'll going to become friends." She started with a big smile. "But I guess you don't like me." The lady continued. Morgause didn't know what to say as she didn't remember meeting her before. "I'm Mithian." The lady added. Now, Morgause really didn't know how to react. She tried to smile, but it looked so unnatural.

"Look." Mithian continued. "I love Merlin. I really do and I want nothing but him to be happy. Do you think she could love him more? Do you think she could make him happier than I could?"

"You heard." Morgause muttered. "I didn't mean that." She tried to apologise, but she failed and Morgause knew she was failing and she simply didn't know what to say.

"If she can, I'm not going to stay in their way, but if she can't, what am I supposed to do? Do not ask me to give up hoping that one day he will love me."

"I will never do that."She answered with a smile. "Just promise to love him. He really needs it."

"May I speak with her?" The princess added pointed to the door. Morgause opened the door and invited her inside. Mithian thanked her and stepped in. Her eyes met Morgana's and for a moment she didn't know what she really wanted to hear. For Merlin's sake she hoped Morgana would love him, but...there was a "but" that tortured her. She couldn't help it. Yet she would be fair. For Merlin.

* * *

Merlin was hurrying to Uther's chambers (it felt kind of strange for him that game of plotting and especially of having Uther as a confident. Yet Merlin was decided to play fair. He wouldn't lie Morgana. Not that time.) Yet he stopped as he caught a glance of Mithian while she suddenly tried to hide from his glance. He caught her arm and pulled her closer. She'd probably heard more than she should have, but part of him was glad she had. Merlin felt he couldn't live lying her. She was his friend, after all. Maybe the only one who'd ever done so much for him.

"We need to talk." He'd uttered firmly, but yet kindly as he'd pressed a kiss on her forehead before letting her go. "Do not do anything stupid, please."

Uther was much easier to be made part of that crazy revenge plotting plan. Yet he was scared by Morgana's reaction. However, as Merlin pointed out the danger lady Vivien might put Arthur under if she were to remain in the castle (and it wasn't a lie. As Merlin wouldn't be there anymore, lady Vivien would just be free to try everything she wanted and Arthur was just a thorn in her back. In fact, Merlin had known he had to deal with her longer before Morgause exposed her wish, but only after that he realized that his sister's plan might end up being useful. Everything he had to do was to find evidence against her and offered it to Uther. Not that he hadn't already suspected it.)

Arthur on the other hand refused the plan as he found it a war sentence for Camelot. Morgana wasn't the one to accept it quietly. Merlin, though, was just to confident on his plan to accept a defeat and so lady Vivien was to be brought in front of the king while Merlin was to deal with Morgana.

"Remember her punishment, Sire." Merlin added on a demanding tone that even Uther found it imposing. "It's time to show you can be merciful, Uther. It must be Eira."

Neither Arthur nor Uther understood why was it so important to be the western island, but it had little importance for them. What Uther feared was the people's reaction when his iron fist wouldn't be so strong.


	15. New rules

**Hi. It's been a long time. Thanks for your patience. Hope you are still here.**

* * *

New rules

Mithian took a deep breath. The way Morgana looked at her was getting her nervous. Merlin had advised her not to do something stupid. Mithian wondered whether speaking with Morgana was stupid. In fact, it was quite awkward to ask her if she loved Merlin. But as she thought better she realized that it was stupid to worry about what Morgana thought. Mithian would soon be queen, she'd be the wife of a dragon lord and the mother of a future dragon lord. What was really stupid was to care for what a simple lady might think.

If Morgana were to say yes, then it wouldn't matter as she would find about Merlin's feelings anyway. Mithian was decided to give up any hope of Merlin ever loving her and left her place to Morgana. Whether her answer were to be no, then Mithian would show Morgana who was the queen there. So, why did she bothered?

She just strengthened her posture and asked on her most royal tone, trying to seem indifferent. "Do you love Merlin?"

The question instantly made Morgana laughed. She didn't get why Mithian would ask something like that. It was stupid. She, the mighty Last Priestess, to love a servant ?! Stupid indeed. Morgause on the other hand froze. She couldn't understand how Morgana could be so stupid.

"Morgana" Morgause cried as Morgana's laughters got her nuts. "What is so funny?" If Morgause was angry, Mithian felt so furious. Merlin deserved more than that. "Or is she laughing because she guessed my feeling for Merlin?" Mithian asked herself. That idea hurt her. It was just so hard to decide what she want to hear. Anyway, she hated the way Morgana had reacted.

"He's a servant, Morgause. Why will I love a servant?" Morgana answered with such easiness that the two ladies were left without words. "NO. Of course, I don't."

"Fine." Mithian muttered for herself, trying to calm down the whirlpool of feeling inside her; fury for treating Merlin like that; joy that she would be able to hope for his love one day. Morgana obviously didn't deserve him.

"Good" She uttered firmly. "Well, you've strangely calm. The Morgana I used to know was quite a vengeful woman. I've supposed this new life you're now leading is due to Merlin. Why wouldn't you love him? Well….After all, he gave you a second chance." The way she said it, plus that thing with second chance…. Morgana couldn't get how Mithan could have found out.

"How do you know?"Morgana threw at her. She was furious. How could Merlin do something so stupid that to get Mithian involved in this complicated net of intrigues and plots that had lately been Merlin's and her lives? What right he had to let Mihian know?

"What?" Mithian continued to look her down and she uttered the ''what" with such confidence that Morgana wanted to punch her.

"About...second chance. What do you mean?" It was just so annoying to feel beaten by that stupid princess, but the very thought that Merlin had taken Mithian with him in the past was….not really pleasant. In fact it was making her blood boil. "Why would he take you back to the past?" She added on her best bitchy tone.

"He asked me if I want to came with him and I accepted. Don't you think it really nice that he value my company so much that he wanted me to remember?" Mithian answered her question. It was clearly that she wanted to challenge Morgana.

"Well" Morgana uttered and she put on her famous smirk "I guess I was the one that should have put you that question after all." For a moment Morgana thought she had the upper hand. However, Mithian accepted the challenge without a second thought

"I love him and not because he is a king and a dragon lord. I've been loving him since the moment he helped me escape from your evil plots. He is wise, handsome, funny and yet strong. And yes I want to be with him until the very end. But you can't understand that." Morgana was simply speechless. Yet she wasn't the one to accept a defeat. Not like that. Not in front of that stupid princess. Not on a matter so insignificant such as Mithian's feelings for Merlin. What if she had feeling for him? She could love him as much as she liked. Merlin would never share her feelings. That idea made her feel so great that Morgana's next words came just so natural.

"I guess I have better standards than you, after all." As she said that she turned her back. Mithian wanted to add something, but Morgause silently gestured her not to. And before she realized the meaning of it, Mithian felt Merlin's hands around her waist and his lips tickling her ear as he whispered to let Morgana be. Mithian smile and tried to turn to him, but he kept her still and added "You are my only queen. You will not leave me alone, won't you?"

It was a bit strange to hear him saying that, but the way he said the last part, begging her not to give up on him. It just made her want to forgive anything.

Morgana had neither seen them, nor heard his words. As a result she was surprised to hear his voice as he said on a loud tone:

"I spoke with the tailor for the dress." He also set Mithian free from his embrace. "We need to talk. I'll be there in just a few moments."

Mithian nodded and left the room. As she closed the door the smile on his face suddenly disappear and it was replaced by a cold expresion.

"Are you aware your mother's plan to take Camelot was discovered?" He said to Morgana on a cold tone. "You can leave Camelot and came to the island. Uther will pretend that you name was never involved in this matter. In fact, no one know about you."

"If he does something to my mother, I… How has he found? Tell me you were not involved, Merlin. You can't do that to me." Morgana started to bubbled as she paced furious around the room.

"Don't you expect me to let her succeed? Now that I won't be permanently here, the kingdom is just in such a great risk." He was unable to say more as she cut him instantly, bursting out in a wave of furry.

"Camelot! Arthur! That's all you care about. I'm sick of it, Merlin! This is my mother...my mother" She repeated the words. She couldn't went on as the grief was just to strong. "I can't lose her, Merlin." Now she was crying and she let herself fell on the floor. For a moment, Merlin considered to go to her and try to calm her, but he knew that it would make things worse.

"He won't sentence her to death, Morgana. For your sake he's going to let her live, but" she stopped from crying and was waiting for his next words. "She'll be banished to Eira."

"Can't I go with her? Or, at least, can't she go to your island?" She tried to negotiate with him. She was sure he would accept. He had always had. "Please." He wanted to say yes, but he can't. He'd promised to Morgause, plus, Morgana being so close to her mother wasn't the best idea. She would end up wanting his throne.

"So you two would be able to plot against me?! No, Morgana. This is impossible."

"Then I won't come either."

"I don't care." She watched him surprised. "You'll come anyway. You had until the sun sets up to prepare your things. I'm not going to wait longer."

"I won't come" She shouted at him, trying to prove him once more that no one would ever tell her what to do.

"Morgause help her pack her things,please. I'm not going to wait for it and neither would I ask for them to be sent."

"I don't want to see you. Don't you get it." She cried furious. She hated to be ignored. How could he not care for her? He not even bother to calm her down. He had used to be gently with her since they'd returned. Were they going back to old rivalry? And there was that stupid of Mithian. He was just so gentle with her.

"You won't. You won't be living in the castle so the chances to meet me are slightly reduced. I, for sure, I'm not going to bother you" She couldn't believe he said that. Like seeing him was the problem….

"So, you don't care for me?" Morgana looked just so naive as she said that.

"Honestly, Morgana, all I care is to be fair with you. I've decided that if I was able to let Uther live despite of everything it will be fair to speak for your mother too. Do not imagine it was a favour. While about you. I'm sorry for leaving you down then and I really want to make up for it. That's all I care. That's why I want you to come. I want you to see the world you've fought so hard for. I think I own you that."

"That is all I mean for you, Merlin?!" She wasn't furious anymore. She was hurt. She'd hoped for much more than pity and guilt. What she'd hoped for, the witch didn't dare to voice not even to herself. But she knew it was something maybe close to the respect and loyalty he felt for Arthur if not something completely different that was supposed to belong to her and only to her. Yet the very thought of it scared her because it was just to much to hope for. But she knew she'd hoped for it . She knew that because of the hole he'd left behind by uttering those words. There had once been something there. There has used to be hope.

"I wish I could tell you I'm sorry, but it would be a lie. Be ready." He uttered coldly and he left before any other word was spoken.


	16. and they lived happily ever after

**First of all, I want to remind you that this is my perspective and the characters do not have to be like they were in the series. In fact, what I try to do is to prove that the personality of someone is shaped by their experiences rather than by genetics. Remember that only Merlin, Morgana, Arthur, Mithian and the knight have come back from the future. The other characters belong to that time and, as you all know certain things happened in the past.**

 **Have you missed me and my story? Hope you do.**

 **By the way, does someone like The journey of flower? Do you know how I can introduce a new category for fanfiction?**

* * *

"What's your relation with Morgana?" Mithian asked as she was finally alone with Merlin. He laughed amused by her question.

"We are eternal enemies." Merlin answered on a light tone, strangely light for his type of answer. "I think we would get bored if it were for one of us to put down the swords."

"You've said you love her." His future wife reminded him. She had not intended to ask for explanations, but she felt it was necessary for them to say all that was to be said before it would be too late.

"I do indeed. I love her fire, her ambition, her stubbornness…. But I fear that if I were to try to ,,tame" her, I would ruin everything I love about her. She challenges me in everything. I simply can't imagine me and her agreeing on something. It's tiring indeed. Numerous times I wanted to give up, but… Somehow...maybe….in the middle of those usual fights….well, I have to admit that she is not always completely wrong and neither am I always right. This makes me question my decision. Even if I would never say it aloud, I have to thank her for always reminding me that some decisions are not easy to take… for making me question if there is indeed another way."

It was the type of answer she would have never expected. Mithian found difficult to understand that kind of love. She knew that people do not always agree with each other. Even lovers had different opinions. But being afraid of finally agreeing on something... or had she got wrong his words?

"So, if I've got right you are not afraid she might not love you, but that if she were to love you this would change her so much that you would not be able to love her?" He nodded.

"I don't know if I may have any chance to make her fall in love with me. I guess she would refuse me even if she were to like me just because she is way too stubborn to let go of the past. However, I've considered this possibility too. It looked lovely for a while, then I've realized that this happiness is not meant to last. I prefer her just the way she is…"

"Why has it to be me, then?" Mithian interrupted him. "Won't you get bored of me?"

"Because you are my friend. You are loyal, reliable, clever and very beautiful." Merlin added. "I may not love you the way you deserve, but I can't imagine anyone else to spend the rest of my life with. You have the power to make me laugh after a heavy day. You can encourage me when I lose hope. You are just here when I need you. I will never regret my decision, Mithian." He whispered in her ear although they were completely alone.

She smiled. Maybe, one day, he would forget Morgana and then he would belong only to her. But until that day would come, she would have to be content with having him so close to her. So close…

"So, will you still marry me?"Merlin asked. His childish look made her laugh. He was just like a naughty boy that knew he was guilty and begged for forgiveness only to just to do it again. "I'm serious." He added as if he could read her mind. "I really want you to be my wife and my queen." This time he was just to serious that Mithian had to threaten him that she would never marry him if he would ever be that serious. Eventually they both burst into laughters.

* * *

Morgana was troubled as neither option seemed to solve her problem. On one hand, she simply could not obey Merlin's order. There was no doubt about it. The witch would not be commanded and especially not the way he did. But on the other hand, there was her mother and Morgana was aware that without Merlin's support there would be difficult...impossible in fact, to save her. She may try to set her mother free. Morgause may help her, too. However, supposing she were to manage it, then what would she do? Hide for their all life? Start a war against Camelot? When had she ever succeeded against Merlin?

She knew now who he really was, true, but did it really help? He seemed to have gained a lot of experience both in magic and dealing with life problems especially when those life problem appeared in the form of a certain witch. So did she even stand a chance?

She watched Morgause who had already started to packed Morgana's things. Morgause had already made her mind in listening to Merlin. Morgana wanted to take all those stuffs and throw them all on the floor. She was not allowed to give Merlin the satisfaction of listening to him.

"Would you help me set my mother free?" She enquired the only person Morgana was left to trust. Morgause voiced the things that Morgana already knew.

"Set her free and then? Live the life of a criminal? Start a war with Camelot and Merlin?" What really surprised her was what her sister said next:

"I don't want to lie to you. You had become very dear to me. Before I envied you for having the family I never had, but now I've come to realize you are a great person. You are strong, ambitious and very beautiful. If only you would use your qualities for the right thing rather than fighting meaningless wars. But, on this thing I don't want to help you, Morgana." The little witch could not register the fact that her only sister not only refused to help her, but she made clear that Morgana's decision was against her own. "In fact I would stop you if you try to do something." Morgause went on. "She is your mother and that makes you blind to her mistakes, but I, I will never be her daughter and neither will I be her puppet. I may forgive her for abandoning me, but I will never allow her to hurt the people I love. Can you understand that?"

"I will speak with my mother to…." Morgana tried to convince her.

"Merlin is not a bad person. Your mother will be fine there. In fact, much more than she deserves to be. That's the place she abandoned me and I've survived so many years there...I hope you understand that it is dangerous for her to stay in Camelot. You becoming queen will bring just misery to the city. Arthur seems to make a good king one day."

"Why everyone seems to believe that I can't be a good queen? You too?!" Moranga cried.

"I never said you won't be a good queen, I only said that you will only achieve that by war and a war will be pointless and damaging for the country. Why had you to be so persistent? You can't simply go to the island and leave all behind? Magic is fee there and Merlin will surely offer you a good position. He appreciate your skills. If only you wouldl stop fighting him."

"You can't understand. I hate Camelot and I hate Arthur. He is just a spoilt boy, but everybody keeps protecting him. And Uther is nothing, but a monster who deserve to die. I won't allow him to die peacefully. I want him to know that I will fight for the throne even if he continues to refuse to acknowledge me as his daughter."

"So." Morgause uttered sarcastically "you - who have and wonderful father, a father in everything but blood- you are allowed to be furious because your biological father do not want you while I have to be the perfect daughter and forgive Vivian - a mother in nothing else but blood for me? So…" Morgause went on "you have the right to hate Arthur for gaining everything you haven't while I should not judge you for being nothing but a spoilt girl? You know what? I'm not your servant." And Morgause threw away all the stuffs she had already packed. "You are big enough to decide for yourself. If that's what you want then fine. It's your life. I don't want to be caught in your wars."

Morgana was now completely alone. All her things were down on the floor and she had little time until Merlin would come to take her. She threw a look through the window hoping that staring out would help her sort her thought. Was she really a spoilt girl as Morgause accused her? However, the witch did not have time to think that through as she caught a glance of Merlin and Mithian chatting happily. They looked quite close, more like lovers. Lovers?! That thought infuriated Morgana.

She did not love Merlin. It had never occurred to her, but it did not mean that she bothered being loved by him. She was powerful, beautiful, clever and yet there was always someone else. Mithian did not even have magic. "She may be a princess but she is definitely inferior to me." Morgana thought. "What has she and I don't? Merlin must be a stupid. First Gwen - a simple maid - and now an ordinary princess that once has trembled in front of me." Morgana remembered the time she had used Mithian in order to catch Arthur. "Stupid girl! Do you really think you can compete with me? I may not become the queen of Camelot, but I will definitely took the throne of Merlin's magic realm. And this time Merlin won't stop me." She laughed. "Because he will give it willingly. Afterall, becoming his wife isn't such a bad thing."

* * *

 **I still don't know if I should continue or just leave the story as it is. The ending is perfect, after all. Magic is back (not in Camelot, but at least there is a kingdom that accepts it), Arthur will be king one day and he has certainly learnt a lot during the time, Morgana is no longer a threat, Vivian is banned to a remote island, Morgause is good and finally Merlin has found someone to be at his side and make him happy (there is someone who doesn't like Mithian?).**


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